


Where We Will Stand As One

by AMLKoko



Series: Trapped in Ice [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Reapers, Bittersweet, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Contact War, From Sex to Love, Happy Ending, Happy Ending?, Imprisoned by Nature, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Mission Gone Wrong, Non-Reaper AU, Rescuing Turians, Storm stayed, learning to love, trapped together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:27:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 43,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28660191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMLKoko/pseuds/AMLKoko
Summary: Sarah Watkins is one of the only people willing to stay on Pluto to research it. With it's dangerous and subzero weather, people stay far away, but Sarah and her research partner, Beth Hawgrave, find something they love about it and stay. However their lives change when a shuttle crashes to the surface, ignoring their warnings of danger, both women set out from their research outposts to find survivors.With a storm bearing down on them that will rage for three months, Sarah finds a turian on the flat icelands of the frozen planet. She brings the turian back to her outpost, unwilling to let them die.Kaitus Severaka was on an easy recon mission during the First Contact War that goes south immediately. Their ship crashes and he is forced to leave his friend Tiberius Terlocus to try and find safety. Instead he wakes up to find his life has been saved by a human woman who found him out in the cold.and that they will be stuck for three months, with no way to escape.The two find themselves in a raging attraction that threatens the foundations of their beliefs even when they know that in the end. They will have to say goodbye because with their species at war, there is no place outside for the love between them.
Relationships: Kaitus Severaka/Sarah Watkins, Original Female Human Character(s)/Original Male Turian Character(s)
Series: Trapped in Ice [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100408
Comments: 23
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

Kaitus Severaka stood in front of the drop shuttle, his friend and partner for the drop Tiberius Tercolus, standing beside him. “This is a simple recon mission. We need to get in and get out with as much information as possible. Our reports show there are two outposts on this dwarf planet, the humans have named Pluto, and we need to get information on why they are out this far and why they chose a rather inhospitable planet to do so.” Commander Oraka looked them over. “You are to get in, scout the outposts, and return with information on military movements and the amount of presence they have there and then return. If we can understand why they are this far out, we can perhaps find a weakness to exploit.”

Kaitus lifted his chin upwards. This was an important mission, the humans were new, never before seen in the galaxy and Relay 314 incident was building up into a war. They were heading into the sol system, the humans’ home system, and that was pushing boundaries and reprimands by the council if they were caught.

“You can count on us, sir.” Tiberius snapped out a salute and Commander Oraka gave a sharp nod.

"You have three base weeks before we will swing by and pick you up, barring an emergency that requires your extraction before that timeline.” The commander pulled his hands behind his back and nodded at them. “Pack your shuttle, you will drop in fifteen. Make the Hierarchy proud. Dismissed.” With that he walked away. Kaitus looked at Tiberius before nodding. He was nervous but they were going behind enemy lines, into uncharted and dangerous territory. If they were caught… he didn’t even want to think about that.

Every turian heard what humans did to those that were captured. Vivisected, tortured, mutilated, experimented on. The stories and evidence were gruesome and made his gizzard clench with anger. Humans were uncivilized primates, he couldn't stand the thought that they were doing what they were doing to his own. They had no honour in torturing and experimenting on captured turians. Those turians should have been treated as POWs but the humans brutalized them instead and the Council refused to step in.

"Let's get this drop done quick and easy. We don't want to be spotted by patrols." Tiberius nodded at him and Kaitus returned it. They had only a small window of opportunity to get onto the surface after they approached the planet. There was an hour window span where the planet closest to it blocked out the sol system’s sun. The planet went dark and it had been determined to be the best possible window for them to make their drop to avoid detection by patrols.

They climbed into the drop shuttle, securing their packs and their rations. Tiberius shoved several extra ration packs into the back and Kaitus laughed, his subvocals thrumming with amusement. "We have three weeks planet side. Not a year." He looked like he was prepping for a siege.

Tiberius gave a small scoff, "You have to prepare for the worst. If it gets too hot for the ship to come back we might be out there for a lot longer." He secured the two extra packs of rations next to their own packs. He literally packed an extra six months of food for each of them.

"I'd call you paranoid but I know you would take it as a compliment." Kaitus moved to the cockpit and took a seat.

"It's not paranoia, it's called being prepared." It wasn't soon after the words that Tiberius joined him, taking the pilot's seat.

They both sat in the silence, counting down for then the cargo bay would open and they would take control of the shuttle as it dropped. "I didn't think they would give us this mission, Tiberius." They were both lower ranked tiers in the military but they were top of their platoon for recon. He thought they would have gotten some Blackwatch members to do it.

"I'm not. We are lower tier, if they send Blackwatch and they get caught? There is no plausible deniability. We are so far down the ladder that if we get caught, the Hierarchy can take the hit super easily using denial." And there was Tiberius's cynical paranoia coming out. Kaitus had to chuckle at his friend's ability to turn something like this into a negative.

"If we do this properly, we will advance up the meritocracy. That counts for something." Kaitus gripped his seat straps in his hands as Tiberius powered up the shuttle.

Tiberius gave a slightly amused thrum, "And if we do this wrong, we will either be eviscerated alive by the humans or shunted off to the bottom tier social ranks by the Hierarchy." He glanced at Kaitus. "Fun." At that Kaitus had to laugh. There was a shudder and the cargo bay started to open. "Whatever it is, it's too late to back out now." Within a few minutes their shuttle dropped and Tiberius engaged the engines, sending them speeding towards the dwarf planet's surface.


	2. Chapter 2

"Same shit as always, Beth." Sarah held her mug close as she looked through the thick window that overlooked the Tombaugh Regio, the much loved heart shaped area of Pluto.

"I know but they could have actually sent me something I would like to eat!" Her friend practically whined through the radio connection they shared.

"I would say risk sending Poppy over here to trade but... Well you know." Sarah looked over at the darker clouds that were coming closer. They were coming into their regular three month long ice storm and there was no risking going out into it. The harsh Pluto winds scraped ice from the planet's surface and whipped it around, coating everything within minutes. They only had a little time before it hit. Poppy the rover wouldn't have time to make it from Beth's station, Gamma, to her station, Bravo, and then back with the traded rations.

"Damn fucking ice storms. I bet Rich did this on purpose because I turned him down for that date on the station." Beth seethed and Sarah took a long drink of her hot chocolate.

"Probably. You should report him for that. The Board wouldn't take kindly to someone treating us poorly. They might even send you out an entire crate of poptarts to make up for it." Sarah's mouth twitched upwards slightly as Beth scoffed.

"They don't care about us _that_ much." Beth was seething, she had gotten her rations to keep her until the next drop off in six months but it hadn't contained some of her luxury rations as she called them. The sugary sweet processed ones that made Sarah’s nose scrunch up.

"They care enough to keep us happy because we are the _only_ scientists who volunteer to come out here regularly." They were the only two people on earth who were willing to come study Pluto's surface. It was too cold and harsh for everyone else but Sarah loved the planet, the research she did on it, and she was half partial to the solitude if she had to be completely honest.

"If Pluto wasn't so damned interesting, I would have thrown in the towel three years ago." Beth let out sigh. "We are going to lose connection in a bit." Sarah nodded a bit sadly at that, even though she knew Beth couldn't see it. The ice storm knocked out all communications for the three months. After the storm was done, Beth and Sarah would go out and knock the ice off the comm towers and reinstate the communication link but until then it would be three months of radio silence.

"Just watch all the vids I sent you and you'll be fine. I've got a huge supply of books and I know you do as well. We will be able to keep busy." Sarah had no issues with the solitude that came with the three month lockdown but Beth was a bit more social and by the end of the regular solitudes they lived in, she was pretty much climbing the walls.

"I know but-" She was cut off by the satellite proximity alarm and Sarah's heart dropped. She ran over to the monitor where the radar was. A blip was descending towards the cloud cover, that blinking red line that denoted the danger barrier.

"Someone's in bound!" She cursed and she could hear Beth cursing as well.

"They can't breach the clouds, Sarah!" Beth was panicking, she could hear it. She didn't fault her, she was panicking as well.

"I know!" If their ship breeches the clouds the ice winds would knock the engines out. She flipped on the open frequency on her comm station, "This is Researcher Sarah Watkins of Outpost Bravo, do not breach the cloud cover! I repeat do not breach the cloud cover!" She looked over at the radar and watched as the blip dropped lower. "Pull up! This is an emergency! You cannot land! Do not break the cloud cover!" She could faintly hear Beth shouting a similar warning from her own outpost as the comms crackled their prelude to dropping.

She glanced at the radar, her heart in her throat. "This is Researcher Sarah Watkins of Outpost Bravo! Don't breach! Don't breach! There is a storm! You will crash! Pull up!" She was practically shouting it, her heart pounding in her throat. "Don't do this! I repeat, don't breach the clouds!" She watched, dread in her stomach as the blip went below the blinking red line of the danger barrier and the alarms went deathly silent, the blip disappearing. The silence was eerie and she felt a bit numb and in shock. That had never happened before. Not in the four years she had been on the planet.

"We can track them, right?" Beth's voice was pitched upwards. "We have time." Her voice was overlaid with static as the ice storm drew even closer. "We can't leave them out there, Sarah! We need to get them. I'm going-" The comms crackled dangerously and Sarah closed her eyes as Beth's voice disappeared. "-find them!" The voice came through clear and Sarah's heart pounded in her ears as the comms cut completely. The silence was more than eerie, it reminded her of a tomb.

Who the hell breached the cloud cover? And why didn't they listen to her and Beth’s hails?


	3. Chapter 3

Two garbled voices had come through their shuttle’s radio but it was so garbled and filled with static they hadn't been able to understand it but it made Kaitus's nerves jittery as they hit the clouds. "I think they know we are here, Tiberius." He gripped his straps tightly and Tiberius let out a curse, jerking the wheel to the left and their shuttle banked. They didn’t know what waited them on the surface, the could have anti-aircraft systems in place, they could be shot out of the sky the minute they completely dropped from the clouds.

"It could be a general warning system. We don't know they know we are here." His friend shoved forward on the wheel and the shuttle dived downwards. "We aren't caught yet!" Tiberius sounded strained and they breached the cloud cover and the shuttle banked and took a hard right. "What the fuck?!" Tiberius yanked on the wheel but the shuttle wasn't responding.

Kaitus watched in horror as his window started icing up. The crackling sound it was making was ominous and the shuttle shuddered as Tiberius strained, managing to level out a fraction before it was hit again and started spinning. "The engine have cut out!" There was a panicked pitch to Tiberius's subvocals and Kaitus pulled his mandibles tight to his face.

"We're icing up." It came out gritted and he looked at Tiberius and the other turian's eyes were wide as he looked back at him. The crackling sound was growing louder and the both watched as their windshield was slowly coated in a thick yellow ice, leaving them in the dark.

"Spirits!" It was said through clenched teeth and Kaitus closed his eyes tightly as the fury of the subzero planet made itself known. "Helmets. Put it them on!" Kaitus' eyes popped open and he grabbed his helmet from underneath the seat. He jammed it on, making sure it was sealed properly to his armour. He looked at Tiberius again, the helmet making his harsh panting seem even louder. "It's been an honour, Kaitus." Tiberius's voice was even but his subvocals shook. Kaitus nodded, tightening his grip on the straps as the shuttle was thrown sideways before rolling in the air.

It felt like they were in a free fall forever until the shuttle impacted the ground hard. Metal screeched and twisted, glass and ice shattered and Kaitus felt like he was dying as he was tossed around in his harness. His helmet's HUD display flashed alarms and the VI spoke to him in an even tone, letting him know there was a hull breach and that temperatures were fatally low and it was all he saw as his world went dark.

~~~~

Kaitus jerked awake, moaning in pain and shivering violently. He looked around at the mess of the ship, metal and wires were everywhere they weren't supposed to be. He looked to the pilot's seat and saw Tiberius slumped down, a shard of metal sent through his armour. He yanked himself out of the harness and scrambled to his partner. "Tiberius!" He grabbed the other turian's harness, ignoring how his display flashed it's warnings at him.

The other turian groaned. "Get out of here, Severaka." It was said weakly and he shook his head. He wasn't going to leave him behind. "It's pinning me. Get somewhere safe." Tiberius weakly pushed at the metal that had pierced his armour. "Leave. Get somewhere safe before they find us both here." His voice was growing softer soon after he slumped completely.

Kaitus let out a small keen for his friend as he let him go and stumbled to the back. Their packs were strewn everywhere and he managed to find his and then looked at the extra ration packs he had teased Tiberius about not that long ago. He grabbed one of the extras and looked at the mangled shuttle. There was a small not iced over opening in the side that he looked like he could fit through. Everything else was coated in that thick yellow ice. He could hear the wind howling, if a bit muted, through his helmet.

He pushed himself through the hole and blinked as he tried to see where he was. Their shuttle had ended up a mangled mess against what looked to be a sheer mountain side. The mangled shuttle was nearly completely covered in ice. He pulled his mandibles tight to his face with a groan, his entire body aching. "I'll come back, Tiberius." He would find somewhere safe and then come back for his partner. They would hide out and get a message to Commander Oraka about what happened. Whatever it was that happened. He still wasn't sure what exactly transpired.

He moved around the shuttle and was buffeted by the wind. "Please find cover. Level four environmental danger present." His armour VI said it pleasantly and his displays flashed red. He ignored it and started walking, leaning into the wind so he wouldn't be blown away. He would find somewhere safe, and he would come back for Tiberius. He had to.


	4. Chapter 4

"This is insane. I'm insane " Sarah sung it to herself, her anxiety peaking. Her helmet display was displaying it's environmental warnings at her and she routinely had to jump and bend to break up the thin coating of ice that formed around her. It was getting colder, the wind was brutal. "Why am I doing this? They are probably de-dead." She choked slightly on the words. She didn't understand why they didn't listen, she had warned them. Her and Beth both. She felt so guilty, like she could have done more. She knew logistically she did all she could but emotionally she felt so utterly responsible.

Her teeth chattered, from cold and anxiety. The storm was too close for her liking and she was walking over the icy landscape to where the ground sensors had registered an impact. She closed her eyes, breathing deep and even to try and calm herself. She knew Beth was headed out too. That was the only reason she was out there at all.

She tugged on the sled she pulled behind her. It was her hover sled, she didn't have it powered up, the ice and cold usually made it inoperable within half an hour and if she found wounded, she wanted to conserve it for them. She was growing closer to the impact point when her comm in her helmet crackled. She lifted her hand, hope perking her up. "-getting close...-ash site... Be saf-" The transmission was garbled and cut in and out but Beth's voice was distinctive, if faint. She marched onward, moving closer to the crash site, trying to get close enough that the storm wouldn't interfere as bad with theirhelmet comms.

"Beth, I'm about nine hundred meters out from the impact site. Do you copy?" She yanked on the sled before doing a jumping jack, the ice on her armour cracking off. "Beth, do you read me? I'm getting there!" She huffed and puffed, her body feeling like it weighed found hundred pounds as she pushed against the wind.

"Found the crash site..." The voice faded in and out and relief filled Sarah at her friend's voice sounding clearer. "One person... Get back to... I can take them..." Her voice faded in and out still and Sarah's heart was in her throat as she pushed closer towards the crash site, ignoring Beth's words to go back.

"Do you need help, Beth?" She pushed onward once more and there was nothing but crackling from her comm before she spotted a dark shape to the right about a hundred meters away. She shifted course. She knew every inch of the area she was currently in and that was not supposed to be there.

"Get back to your Bravo! Crash site is closer to Gamma. I'm fine." Beth's voice was clearer and the static was less but still prevalent.

"Can't! I think I spotted someone!" She was practically running as she headed for the prone dark shape. She was right, she could see the glint of metal armour. "I've got a survivor! I'm packing them up and we will head out!" She nearly sprinted the last fifty meters to the figure curled up on the ground. She was wheezing and breathing hard from the exertion but she ignored it as she hit her knees beside them. They were giant and were carrying two packs. She yanked on her sled, drawing it closer before she shoved the heavy packs onto it, glad they hadn’t iced down. "Loading them up!" If they walked that far from the crash she could imagine that they were still alive. She _prayed_ they were still alive. She needed some good news since she watched that blip disappear on her radar.

She turned to the figure and with her armoured hands, knocked on their armour, breaking the ice that had coated them. Once she was able to move limbs, she pulled the sled closer and shoved it right beside them. With strength she didn't know she had, she rolled them onto the sled and then gasped, scrambling backwards. "It’s a turian!" Beth's voice was a choked gasp in her ear and Sarah's heart felt like it beat out of her chest. Every human knew of the aliens on the other side of the first contact war. The giant monstrous beings that would tear a human apart in seconds. She didn't know what to do. She really didn't. There was no movement from the turian on her sled and her displays went from orange to red. The storm was bearing down on them. Fast.

"I can't leave it." She said it shakily before resolve filled her. "First contact war be damned, I'm not leaving someone to die out here! Species doesn't matter right now. Survival does!" She scrambled back to the sled as her display started low flashes of the display. She fired up up the motor on the hover sled, getting it hovering weightlessly.

"I'm way ahead of you, Sarah. I'm on my way back to Gamma with the one I found. If I'm alive, I'll talk to you in thre-" Beth's voice faded to nothing but static but Sarah felt a little less alone in her predicament as she grabbed the hover sled and started running. She pushed it in front of her and once she had speed, she jumped on it. She could hear the motor whining slightly from the icy wind and she silently begged the sled to keep going. The sled flew back towards her outpost and she breathed heavily, trying to quell her near panic at the thought that she was crazy.

The sled started to slow down and she moved with practised ease as she went from sitting to her feet to run. She built up more speed and jumped on it. She could see ice building up on the packs and the armour of the turian. Her own helmet was icing up but she knew she didn't have time to stop and break it up. She needed to get them both back to the outpost before the storm arrived. If they didn't they would die because the entire building would ice over completely, leaving them no way to get in.

Three more running pushes later and she could see her outpost growing closer. Relief filled her and she shivered uncontrollably. Her armour was rated for minus 235C but once the storms came it dropped the temperature even more. The armour wouldn't keep her heat up, especially with the ice building up. The hover sled whined louder and slowed down again. She gave one more heavy running push and she knew the motor would ice over completely and give out. She just needed to make it a little bit farther. The noise the motor was making made her wince and within a few moments the bottom of the sled was bouncing on the ground.

"Come on!" She got off and started push running again. She could see the outpost right close. Her breathing was coming in pants and the sled ground to a stop ten feet from the door. She cursed but grabbed the packs, pushing them around to break the methane and carbon monoxide ice that had built on them. She dragged them to the entrance to the outpost and once the door opened she dragged them inside the decontamination chamber before bolting back for the sled. She grabbed the handle and dragged it. It was heavy and she felt like she was getting no where but slowly but surely the sled moved across the ground. The ice was starting to build up and her visor was nearly completely coated in ice. She cursed as the red in her display began blinking faster and the final alarms started going off.

"Come on!" She yanked with all her might and slammed up against the door of the outpost, the sled banging her legs. She kicked and banged on the door rapidly, breaking the ice that had built up on it before she opened it. It whined and the ice cracked further but it gave way and she pulled the sled inside. She tripped over the packs and landed on her ass, a portion of the ice built up on her suit cracking and falling off. She scrambled and moved around the mess of the decontamination chamber to smash at the ice that was trying it's best to keep the door from sliding closed. After a few frantic moments, she breathed a sigh of relief as the door slowly slid closed. She locked it, the icon glowing a steady red. She leaned against the wall and shook, her breathing coming out in ragged, wheezing puffs.

The decontamination started up and the room billowed out heated steam on everything. She stayed leaning against the wall, the rest of the ice falling off of her and everything else, turning back into the dangerous gasses they were before the chamber vacuum sealed, sucking them all out to feed the furnace. She waited, her entire body shaking as the room slowly filled with warmer air once more. She waited, her display going from flashing red, to pure red, to orange, to yellow, and then finally to green.

She heaved out a sigh of relief and slowly pulled off her helmet. The air was slightly humid and it started her to instantly shaking. Her armour felt unbearably cold and her entire body shook. She felt unable to pull anything else off as her hands shook nearly violently but she also knew she needed to get out of of the freezing armour otherwise she would get hypothermia before it warmed up.

She looked at the turian laying in the sled and winced. She would need to get them out of their armour as well. "I'm insane. Completely insane." The only thing that made her feel better was the fact that she knew Beth was probably saying the exact same thing. She had to get them both inside and out of their armour, otherwise they were both going to die.

She could barely stop the shaking in her limbs as she stumbled over everything the decontamination chamber. She pressed the buttons to open up the main door and heated steam billowed out, an attempt to warm up the nearly subzero temperature in the space. After a few minutes and nearly collapsing on the floor, the door slid open and she grabbed one of the turian’s packs and with weak and shaky limbs, dragged it inside. She repeated it with the other one.

The shaking was getting worse and the outer layer of her armour was frosting, as was the turian’s. She looked at the turian, knowing there was no way she could drag it inside feeling as weak as she did. She moved around the sled and banged on the motor then tried to start it. It sputtered and she banged it several more times and it finally started. She breathed a sigh of relief, her limbs shaking and her teeth clattering together violently. She pulled the sled inside and in front of the large fake fireplace that acted as a core furnace for her little outpost. She rolled the turian off the sled, wincing at how limply they fell to the floor. She hastily shoved the sled back into the decontamination chamber and then closed the door.

She could hear the furnace kicking in and she started removing her armour. Her fingers were nearly numb and she couldn’t stop her muscles from jerking randomly. It was hell to get at the openings to pull the armour off but once she was down to her undersuit she felt a little better. She still felt frozen but she also knew that it was better not having the cold metal sap her body heat out. With that thought, she turned back to the turian.

She hesitated but she knew she needed to find out if it was even alive. She hoped it was, no one deserved to die out in the cold like that. She slowly came closer but there was no movement from the creature in the dark blue armour. She hesitated again before she knelt at it’s head and started searching for seals. She found one and twisted, there was a hiss that startled her, her heart jumping into her throat. She froze but there was no movement. She carefully pulled off the helmet and inhaled, her breath stuttering.

The turian was damn near terrifying. She had never seen one so close before and there were spikes that went back from its forehead and there were darker plates covering its face and she could see it’s mandibles and she could get glimpses of it’s sharp teeth behind them. It had bright red paint marking it’s face, along the mandibles, a mark on its chin and three lines down its forehead. They were a startling contrast to the dark plates. A faint sound escaped its throat and Sarah jumped back into action. It was giving wheezing breaths and when she touched it’s neck, looking for a pulse, its skin was ice cold.

The armour was frosting badly and she felt a bit panicky as she searched for seals. It took her an agonizing amount of time to find them and then figure out how to undo them but she managed to get everything off and the turian down to their undersuit. It’s body was twitching and jerking and for that matter so was hers. She stood on trembling legs and rushed as fast as she could to the thermostat and turned it up as high as it could go. She could feel the heat starting to blow as the furnace roared in the wall before she moved to her bedroom. She got there and started yanking out all the blankets she had in her closet and off her bed. She carried armfuls of them to the main space before laying some of them out on the floor.

The turian looked so alien, with its sharp bits and strange shape but it was alive and that was what she wanted, right? She nibbled on her bottom lip, indecision wracking her just like the shakes were doing to her body. She closed her eyes and sighed. She was a researcher, she wasn’t a solider, she wasn’t involved in the war and the turian clearly needed help. She grunted as she rolled them onto the blankets she had laid out, they were fucking heavy but she managed. She curled their arms and legs to their center, supporting their neck and head with the pillows she had had grabbed, before she started wrapping them up.

Once all the blankets underneath them were wrapping around them, she grabbed the other blankets and started piling them onto as well. She shook violently, her teeth chattering the entire time. Her undersuit felt wet and she knew she needed to get out of it but when she reached into the little blanket nest, the air inside and the turian were still cold. She moved to her kitchen nook and pulled out the numerous hot water bottles she had stocked up on and filled them quickly. Their warmth seeped into her skin, making the shaking that much worse but she dutifully carried the over to the blanket nest and slid them inside, tucking them where she thought they would do the best job.

She finished and stumbled to her small bathroom, turning on the shower and stripping out of her undersuit. She practically fell into the hot water, ignoring how it stung her skin and made her ache. She was a researcher, not a solider. She repeated the words again and again inside her head as she huddled in the bottom of the shower, warming up the best she knew how. “I’m a researcher, not a solider.” It came out between clattering teeth and she closed her eyes and hoped she didn’t sign her death warrant by bringing the turian back with her.


	5. Chapter 5

Kaitus came to awareness slowly, his limbs aching with cold and his body shivered uncontrollably. He could only remember collapsing on the ice. He didn't know why he was waking up at all. He had been positive the cold would kill him. He was slowly aware that he was wrapped up in numerous blankets, a few pleasantly warm things pressed up against him. Every so often they were taken away and then replaced, their temperature hotter. He liked it and damn near sighed, curling around them to take in as much heat as he possibly could.

It wasn't until he nearly stopped shivering that he snapped awake fully. He was behind enemy lines and he didn't know where he was or who had him. He struggled in the many blankets that were wrapped aroundhim and that covered him before he managed to stand up. He reached for his gun but he was aware he wasn't wearing any armour, he was just in his undersuit. He let out a heavy curse, his subvocals thrumming with angry panic.

His eyes darted around frantically. The space didn't look like a jail cell but his heart pounded in his chest regardless. There was a tiny squeak and he whirled around. A tiny creature, dirt brown, stringy fringe coming out of its head was staring at him with equally dirt coloured eyes, wrapped in a green blanket and several large maroon coloured things in its arms.

A _human_.

Kaitus scrambled towards it, needing to get the upper hand, and the creature yelped, nearly tripping as it tried to back up. He grabbed it around the throat and slammed it against the closest wall. It let our sharp cry, cringing away from him. "Where am I?" He snarled it out, his subvocals thrumming with his anger. He needed to know where he was and how he could get back to Tiberius. He tightened his grip, feeling the human's pulse flutter wildly against his palm as he did so. Their skin was colder than he would have expected and he gave a low growl. "Where?" He pulled them back and shoved them against the wall again. They yelped again before they dropped those strange maroon things and grabbed his arm, trying to fight off the grip, gasping frantically as they did so.

He didn't understand how delicate little creatures like this could cause the Hierarchy so much trouble. He could squeeze a bit harder and snap it's neck. "Where am I?" He bared his teeth and wide dirt coloured eyes pushed and pulled at his arm, tiny gasps of air escaped its mouth. He could practically taste its fear.

"I don't understand!" The words came out strangled and Kaitus let his grip loosen and the creature gulped in air. "I can't understand you!" They shook violently as they looked up at him and he bared his teeth again, giving a heavy growl. Of course this backwards primitive species didn't have Galactic common translators. He wasn't in the mood. The mission had gone sideways and all he knew was that he had some how been taken and Tiberius was more than likely dead, the cold killing him before Kaitus could save him. He bit back the keening in his subvocals as he swung the human around, holding it by it's throat as he marched it towards a door.

"Don't!" They dug their feet in, their arms flailing as he pulled them closer. "Stop! That's the decontamination chamber to get outside! It's close to subzero in there! Don't open the door!" The scent of their fear grew thicker and Kaitus paused, wondering if he should believe them or not. He took another step and they fought against him so hard, he was nearly worried they would cut themselves on his talons. “ _Stop_!” One of their legs went up and braced against the wall, their hands going up to grab his arm and hand. He could feel them tensing as if building up to retaliate.

He narrowed his eyes, growling low through his carapace before he tightened his grip on their throat. They squeaked and went fully stiff, their breathing coming out in little pants. He moved to the door and they went back to struggling but he tightened his grip, causing them to choke and gasp. He hit the button and there was a whirring sound before the door pulled open and the temperature dropped rapidly. There was nothing but another door with a lock thatflashed red and a heavy frost that coated everything thickly. He banged the button again, the cold seeping into his limbs quicker than he could have ever imagine. He banged on the door again, wanting it to close.

The human twisted out of his grip, shoving his hand away from the door before rapidly tapping on a pad on the wall next to the door. They shook violently, their air coming out in puffs, just like his and the door closed, the icon turning red. The little human slumped to the floor, curling up into a little ball as they shook. Kaitus looked around, spotting another door. He reached down and grabbed the human, hauling it to its feet before dragging it to the other door. It slid open when he got close and a light came on, it was nothing but a bedroom. He snarled and went towards what looked to be another door and was confronted by a rather small bathroom.

There was nothing. No guards, no human military. A tiny little pod like living space on a planet that was so cold it was like it was sapping the life out of him. The human shook violently and he dragged them back to the main room, looking around. There was nothing. He dragged them to the scattered blankets and dropped them. “Stay.” He didn’t look at them as he stalked around the rest of the space, trying to ignore how the cold made his muscles bunch up. He should have listened to the stupid little creature and left the door closed. It was frigid inside now, he had barely been warmed up as it was.

He looked for any weapons the human might have had and found nothing but he spotted his packs, they were untouched in a small kitchenette area, his armour stacked neatly beside it. He turned around his eyes narrowing as his breath fogged in front of him. He moved forwards and his foot kicked one of the maroon things the human had been holding onto and he picked it up. It sloshed as if there were liquid in it and was warm. He narrowed his eyes slightly, poking at it with a talon.

“Don’t! Those are hot water bottles!” The little human squeaked it out and his gaze snapped to look at them. They were wrapped up in a few of the blankets and he narrowed his eyes at them, baring his teeth. “They help you warm up, don’t puncture them.” The creature hadn’t lied to him so far and there were no weapons to be found, nor were there any guards.

“Where am I?” He asked it again and the human cringed and looked at the floor, their dirt coloured, stringy fringe falling forward to block his view of its face.

“I can’t understand you.” At the words he snarled, whirling around and punching a wall. The human let out a yelp and he whirled on them, stalking closer. He brought up his omni-tool, ignoring how his limbs shook and trembled from the cold. He brought up the built in translator and crouched down in front of the human, liking how it cringed away from him.

“Where. Am. I?” He bit each word off as it came out and the human paused, tilting it’s head.

“The Bravo Outpost on Pluto in the Sol system.” It came out quietly and he gave a small grunt. At least the stupid human languages were able to be uploaded to the galactic translators.

“Where are the soldiers?” He snapped the question out and the human’s face wrinkled and it made a rather ugly looking face, its little brown strips above its eyes pulled lower and its nose scrunched upwards. It was ugly. The human was ugly.

“Soldiers?” The confusion was apparent, even to Kaitus.

“Why am I here?” He couldn’t hide his shivering and the tiny human glanced up at him and shivered heavily rubbing at its arms as if to try and get warm.

“I could ask you that.” It came out slightly muttered and he frowned, his mandibles twitching slightly. He didn’t particularly like that attitude. It looked up at him, its eyes wide as it shook. “We told you not the breach the cloud barrier. We warned you that there was a storm. We warned you we tried to tell you. You-you didn’t l-listen and cra-crashed. I f-found you out on the ice and b-b-b-rought you here.” The human’s teeth started chattering as its voice shook and it curled up into itself and he felt like he wanted to do the exact same thing h was so cold.

“Why?” There was no reason for the human to go out into the freezing cold, to search for a downed ship from someone they didn’t know. There was _especially_ no reason for them to bring back a damned turian to their little pod.

“Be-cause you wou-would have di-died if I did-idn’t.” The human’s lips were starting to turn blue and they shook worse.

He felt just as cold but he wanted answers. “So?” If it would have been the opposite, he would have left them to die. It didn’t make sense for them to bring them back. He knew they knew he was a turian when they dragged him back here.

“I’m a re-research-er, no-not a s-soldier. I do-don’t wan-t d-d-eath on my con-conscience. I di-din’t w-want you t-t-t-to d-di-die.” At the softly said but heavily shaken words he leaned back slightly. The mission had been fucked from the get go. The outposts weren’t military, they were research stations. There was nothing to report back with, nothing that could help them against the humans. Tiberius died for a fucking recon mission on a civilian research station. The human shifted, attempting to stand up He snapped out his hand, grabbing its wrist in a nearly bone breaking grip. “N-need sh-shower. Fu-furnace wi-will kick-kick in la-later. N-need wa-warm n-now.” They were shaking so badly that he wondered what strength kept them on their feet. He stood up, closing out his omni-tool, trying his best to ignore the weakness and pins and needles in his own legs as he tugged them towards the bathroom.

He might not have liked humans, might have been more than okay with shooting them, but this little civilian researcher saved his life. He wasn’t going to let it freeze to death over his own stupidity. The lights turned on as he came into the bedroom and then the bathroom. The space was small and felt even smaller now that he was inside of it with the human. It moved on shaking legs to the little space with a curtain and turned on the water. Steam immediately started forming and he could almost feel the heat. He moved around the human and sat down underneath the hot spray. It hurt against the unprotected skin between his plates but he didn’t care. It was warm.

He yanked on the human’s wrist and its eyes went wide and it tumbled against him, landing awkwardly in his lap. He gave a low growl as they shifted, trying to find a way to be underneath the spray with him. He grew agitated and dropped their wrist and then grabbed them around the waist and dragged them onto his lap. He leaned forward, keeping his chin tucked to protect his throat, as he yanked the curtain across the space.

He didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do, what he had to do. Mission parameters were to stay unseen and if humans did see, to eliminate them but even the Primarch himself would hesitate to kill an innocent civilian. This was not their war, there was no reason to bring it to them, especially if said civilian saved one of their own. The mission had been messed up from the beginning. He understood the reasons behind it, he knew why it was a good idea, but they had gone in blind and now were paying the price for it. Tiberius especially. He fought down the keening in his subvocals. They had been born in the same colony, he had grown up with Tiberius, had trained with him, had ran missions with him. He was a friend and a great loss to Kaitos.

He clamped his mandibles in close to his face, keeping the sounds of mourning in his chest. Not willing to show weakness, not even to a human civilian. He kept his arms loose but ready in case the human made a move against him but it did nothing but sit in his lap and shake violently, its legs pulled up to its chest and it head tucked forward. Its strange fringe turned darker in the water but it had split along the back of it’s neck. The human’s neck was pale and slender and he found himself staring at it. It had no plates, just bare and vulnerable skin and suddenly his jaw ached. A primordial urge within the predator he was, swelled up inside of him, the urge to clamp his jaws over that pale column and bite down. He closed his eyes with a grunt, feeling slightly disturbed at the urge that had come up in him.

This was messed up. So messed up.


	6. Chapter 6

This was messed up. So fucking messed up.

Sarah sat shaking and stiff in the turian’s lap. The water was warming her up but she still didn’t know what the fuck had just happen. _Oh you know exactly what happened, Sarah._ The little voice in her head sneered it. _You got assaulted by a turian, nearly had the life strangled out of you, nearly froze to death_ _ **again**_ _because of said turian’s stupidity, and now you are curled up on its lap in the fucking shower with it._ She winced, wrapping her arms tighter around her knees to make herself seem a bit smaller.

The turian was so fucking big. There was just so much of it. She didn’t even know what to begin with that. If the turians wanted to kill her, it would be super easy for it. That didn’t sit right with her but she knew that she had to live, or die, with her decision. She brought the turian into her outpost. She had to deal with the consequences to that.

The water started to feel a bit colder and she knew that they were warming up some. She slowly shifted, going instantly still when the turian let out that thrumming growl that sent something inside of her freezing still. As if a little part of her was still prey and it knew it had been spotted by a predator. When the growl faded again she slowly moved a bit more. The turian growled once more and she froze again, her breath coming out in pants. Her heart was beating erratically.

“I just need to turn up the heat.” She stuttered out the words, her teeth were still chatting but she couldn’t bring herself to look at the turian again. Its eyes had been a sharp blue, cold and cutting, and they made her absolutely feel like prey. She had enough of that, thank you very much. There was no sounds from it and she slowly shifted, twisting her body to reach up to the taps. She turned the heat up and the turian let out a low thrum as the warmer water started to come out. She went still for a moment before getting the feeling that it was more of a relieved noise than anything else. She slowly returned to her curled up ball, not wanting to cause any sudden movements in case it set it off again.

She swallowed hard, wincing slightly at the soreness in her throat. If she was braver she would have yelled at the turian for that but it was practically surrounding her at the moment. She didn’t want to test its mood in any way. “What are you going to do to me?” She winced slightly but couldn’t stop the question from coming out. She didn’t want to wait in terror of if and when it would kill her. “Are you going to kill me?” It let out a rumbling chirp and she continued to shiver. Its arms came up around her and she went stiff, trying to quell the shaking in her limbs.

However it just seemed to bring up that orange interface once more, the one that translated its speech for her. The turian gave a few grumbling chirps and the interface moved slightly. “We don’t kill civilians.” The clipped words came out of the flat voice of the interface and she paused for a second, unsure if the turian was telling the truth before the turian made a few more rumbling and chirp sounds that kind of reminded her of cross between an old crocodile and a bird. “I won’t apologize for how I acted though. I believed I was in danger.” The words were stilted and she made a slight face. Of course it wouldn’t apologize for throttling her and bashing her against a wall.

“You going to apologize for letting out all the heat?” She glanced up at it and to her surprise there was a look on its face that looked decidedly sheepish as it reached up and rubbed the back of its neck.

A few more grumbling chirps later and she moved her attention back to the interface. “I will admit, that was decidedly stupid of me.”

At the words she found herself smiling a little. “Yes, yes it was.” She slowly twisted again, reaching up for the tap to turn it up again. She was warming up, her shaking was growing less and she could tell the turian’s was as well. She did not like the wet clothes she was now wearing though, not that she had any room to complain. The turian had to peel off a wet undersuit and she didn’t know if it was similar to the ones she wore but those were a bitch to get off when wet.

It started making noise again and she turned back to the little interface, nearly fascinated with it. The researcher in her wanted to grab it and look it over but she doubted the turian would approve. “How long do we need to stay in here?” At the question she gave a small shrug right as a heavy rumbling rattled the building. The turian stiffened, snarling as a heavy rumbling escape its chest.

She held out her hands quickly, her heat jumping in her throat with a lurch. “It’s the furnace! That’s the furnace!” She didn’t want the turian to go on a rampage and she hoped it understood what she was saying. After a few seconds tensed muscles seemed to relax and the turian went back to leaning against the shower wall. “We can get out in about ten minutes. It should be bearable in there after that.” She said it quietly and leaned her head forward, watching the water slowly move down her bare arms.

The silence felt almost stifling and the water seemed to slowly get tepid and before she could twist around to get it, the turian reached up and did it for her. “Thanks.” She picked at her pants, she would have to wring them out before she could toss them in the dryer. The turian rumbled something with a few chirps and she turned her attention to that glowing interface again.

“I have a spare translator in one of my packs. You can have it.” At the words she glanced up at it in surprise. She hadn’t expected that at all.

“Thanks.” She once again wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her forehead against her knees. It would help to be able to understand the turian fully, rather than waiting for that little orange interface to pop up with its flat and stilted speech. “Are you warming up?” She glanced up at it and the turian tilted its head slightly, its chin still down, pointing its fringe upwards but gave a short nod. “Good. That’s good. Warm is good.” Warm was more than good. What she really wanted was a bath, to sink down into the water, and float as the water slowly seeped the cold from her bones.

She closed her eyes and let out a small sigh, relaxing slightly. The hot water washing over her was nice and she was fucking exhausted. She had used too much energy going out into the vast wastelands of Pluto to find a crash site and then having to do an impromptu rescue of a turian before she had to race for both their lives. She wanted to get warmed up, then curl up in her bed and sleep for several days. Her arms and legs were sore in a way that wasn’t to do with being cold.

The turian let out a small rumble mixed with a faint chirp and something that resembled a bit of a squawk. She felt her mouth tug up before slowly looking at the orange screen floating above its wrist. “Turians don’t like the cold.” At the words she let out a surprised laugh and grinned.

“You picked the wrong fucking planet then.” She looked up at the turian and she watched as its mandibles twitched and a low and rumbling laugh came out of it. She was surprised because she was very certain it was laughter.

The turian let out a small chirp and she turned back to look at the display. “Worst dwarf planet ever.”

“Viva Pluto, fuck you.” The response was reflexive and the turian stilled and she glanced up at it and it was shaking its head slightly, she could practically see the confusion on its alien face. “It’s a saying. A good portion of humanity still believe Pluto is a full planet and took the demotion of its status very personally. It happened over two hundred years ago but humans are still upset about it.” She gave a small smile and the turian slowly shook its head before it reached up and turned off the water. “Ten minutes are up then?” She slowly got to her feet, groaning as she did so as her joints screamed at her. She was careful where she stepped, so that she didn’t bump the turian too much as she pushed the curtain back.

The turian rose to its feet and she was reminded of just how big it was. It had to be over seven feet tall and with her five foot ten height, it towered over her. She tilted her head looking at it, he seemed to be doing the same thing and she picked at her soaking clothes. “Can you wait a second?” She watched its expression and it nodded. She returned it and turned around, leaving the room. The air that smacked her in the bedroom was still chilly but she moved to the small linen dresser she had. She pulled out a towel and peeled the wet clothes off, wrapping a towel around herself with a shiver.

She grabbed some more towels, the biggest ones she had that were meant for the beach and moved back into the bathroom. She set her soaking clothes in the sink before turning to the turian and yelping, slapping her hand over her eyes as she whirled around. The turian had stripped, the turian was naked. In her bathroom, _naked_. “I’m sorry!” It came out in a squeak and she blindly held out the towels. “I brought you towels. I should have knocked. I’m so so sorry!” She could feel the embarrassed flush moving from her cheeks to her ears and she could feel it slowly crawling down her chest. She waved the towels slightly, keeping her hand clamped tight over her eyes.

The turian’s chirps and rumbles sounded amused and it made the blush worse. “Are all humans this prudish?” The question seemed rhetorical but she didn’t care because the towels were taken from her hand and she bolted out of the bathroom. She dropped her hand and pressed both her hands to her cheeks, they felt red hot and she felt so embarrassed. She should have knocked but she didn’t expect the turian to strip _right then and there_.

She moved to her dresser and pulled out quite a few clothes she could bundle herself in before the heat dissipated from her body. She quickly dried off what she could and started pulling them on. Her hair was soaking but she left it. She would dry it once she was bundled up. The bathroom door opened and she avoided looking over and stiffened until the bedroom door opened and closed. She wasn’t used to anyone else in her space but she didn’t want to be classed as peeping at the turian.

She was already embarrassed enough. She had gotten a good eye full of the turian’s wide shoulders that dipped to a small waist. Muscle corded over it and she frowned slightly, she hadn’t expected that. Its muscling was different than a human and she didn’t expect to see it so apparent. She wasn’t even sure if it was male or female, she would hazard a guess it was male but there was an old human saying, assuming makes an ass out of you and me. She pulled on the last sweater and then started towelling off her hair, doing her best to get all the water she could before she moved back to the bathroom. She wrung her soaked clothes out and wrapped them in the towel.

None of them were dirty so she was safe to just throw them in the dryer. She hesitantly moved into the main area, slowly looking around for the turian. She spotted it sitting in the nest of blankets, patting its thing around its neck dry. Those icy blue eyes flicked over to her. “I’m going to throw these in the dryer, do you want to put your undersuit in as well?” She still felt embarrassed about the whole barging in thing and her cheeks still felt super heated. The turian nodded and she returned it slowly before moving into the little kitchen nook and lifting the small counter, exposing her washer and dryer.

She lifted the lid on the dryer and dumped her small armload into it. A taloned hand holding the towels and a large undersuit came into her vision suddenly and she jolted with a yelp. She pressed her hand to her chest. “You move far too quietly, you know that?” She squeaked the words out, breathing to get her pounding heart under control.

The turian didn’t respond other than let out what sounded like an amused thrum but she was aware it had moved around her. She could hear it digging into its packs and she started the dryer before moving back to the main area. The window was already mostly iced over and she felt a bit of a pang. They would be stuck inside, without a view, for three months. She always hated when the window iced over, it was the darkest part to the three months in her opinion.

She let out a heavy sigh before she moved around the small couch and started shifting the blanket nest around before crawling inside of it. The main area was still warming up and the blankets were slightly warm from where the radiant heat of the furnace touched them.

She stared at the fake flames as the danced behind the glass plate. She was resisting the urge to close her eyes and nap as she slowly and methodically braided her damp hair back from her face. The blanket nest was warming up nicely and she bit back a yawn as she tied the braid off. She brought a leg up and rested her elbow on her knee before resting her cheek on a loose fist. She gave a slow blink and then another. She nearly dozed off before coming awake with a jerk, feeling something staring at her. She looked over her shoulder and the turian was standing, thankfully with some clothes on, in the slightly dim light of the kitchen nook, its eyes trained on her intently.

She repressed a shiver, once again feeling incredibly like prey. “Do you... do you want to come sit?” She pushed at the side of her blanket nest, making more room. “It’s warm.” She let out another small sigh, looking back at the dancing flames. She knew they were holographic and not real but they brought a feeling of comfort. They always had.

The turian made a few noises and she looked towards it. The interface was glowing as it came closer. “Don’t bare your neck like that.” That made her jolt in surprise and she slowly covered her neck with her hand, frowning slightly.

“Why?” At the word the turian made a sharp sound in reply.

“Just don’t.” The words came out flat but she was pretty sure the turian had snapped them at her.

She frowned a bit more as she slowly tugged her sweaters upwards, doing her best to cover her neck. “Is it like a cultural thing? I noticed you kept your chin down in the shower, was that to cover your neck?” She glanced at the turian and it had come closer, several things in its hands. There was a pause before it nodded sharply.

“Okay. I’ll try my best to remember.” She wasn’t used to anyone being around and she knew it would take some getting used to following the turian’s cultural rules. She didn’t want to offend it.

The turian started making noises as it came around the couch to the side she didn’t expect. It bent down beside her, setting the various things on the couch. She froze at the sight of the knife, her eyes darting from it to the turian. “I can put in the translator. It will hurt a bit because I have to make an incision but I have [untranslatable] that can help seal it up and make it hurt less afterwards.” She frowned at the very robotic untranslatable that came out of the interface.

“You have what now?” She looked up at the turian and it blinked at her before making a rumbling sound.

“I have [untranslatable].” The robotic voice did it again and she blinked, her mouth twitching upwards.

“Whatever you are saying, your little interface is not translating it.” She pointed to the interface and the turian let out a low growl before its forehead plates shifted, pulling into what, by all accounts, looked remarkably like a frown.

It made some slow sounds and she glanced between it and the interface. “I have a medical grade healing gel.” The words came out slowly and she felt a bit better hearing what the turian had meant.

“That’s better. It translated that.” So the turian wanted to put in a translator, it would hurt a bit because it had to make an incision but it could seal her up with some healing gel. “Okay.” She gave a short nod. “Go ahead.” She was nervous and her hands shook but she wanted to understand better than whatever the little interface was able to translate for her. She stared at the fake flames, clasping her hands together tightly. Her palms felt clammy and she took deep and even breaths in and out to help calm the sudden thudding her heart was doing.

The turian gently grasped tilted her head, baring the side of her head and ear. It made a few softer sounds and she closed her eyes. “Ready?” At the robotic question she gave a short nod, gritted her teeth, and gripped her thighs. There was a heartbeat of time before the turian cut her skin behind her ear. She swallowed down a shout of pain and gritted her teeth, breathing through her nose deep and even, if a bit strained. She could feel the blood sliding down her neck and she was barely aware that a cloth was pressed to it to collect it. There was pulling from the wound that had her giving a grunt of pain, unable to keep the sound inside. She closed her eyes tighter as the pulling became almost like digging, she dug her fingers deep into her thighs, needing to grip something.

“ _Fuck_!” It came out from between clenched teeth, the word more of a grunt than anything else and she couldn’t help how she tensed. The wound was throbbing and there seemed to be a faint buzz in her head and a cloth swiped up her neck and pressed to the wound. The buzzing grew louder and she resisted the urge to shake her head to dislodge it. The pain was throbbing and something cool and numbing was swiped across the spot behind her ear and she hissed out a breath.

The buzzing grew louder and she squeezed her eyes tighter, rubbing at her forehead. Her ears started to feel muffled and she was slightly aware that the turian was making those noises at her again. She could barely hear anything over the buzzing in her head and the muffling in her ears. She ground her teeth together and then, like when a person puts on glasses for the first time, her hearing cleared up and she could actually _hear_. Very _very_ clearly.

“-ou hear me, human?” The voice was deep, rumbling and had a delightful flanging to it that sent a whole course of shivers down her spine. Her eyes popped open at that. Oh no. “Human, are you able to hear me?” Her mouth went dry and she couldn’t control the shivers that followed his voice, because there was no fucking way that was a female turian’s voice.

Oh no. On no no no. Sarah stared wide eyed at the flames and internally screamed at herself. This was not good. Not good at all. “Can you understand me, human?” A large and warm hand gripped her shoulder and she gave another unexpected and highly unwanted shiver. Oh no. No no no no. That was not good, not good at all. She closed her eyes again and swallowed hard. The shivers weren’t going away and she wondered how distinctly impolite it would be to tell her turian guest that he was no longer allowed to speak.

Why?

Because it did some _not_ so appropriate things to her body, he said something else and an undeniably, fully heated shiver cascaded down her body from the top of her head down to her toes.

Oh no. No no no no no.


	7. Chapter 7

Kaitus was a little worried he had some how broken the human. He was sure the translator went in properly but he had only ever been shown how to do it and he had never actually done it himself. He had said he wouldn’t kill it but the human was damn near catatonic. “Human?” He gave them a small shake and the human shivered underneath his palm.

“Please stop talking, this is a little bit to get used to.” The words damn near sounded like a plea that was carried on a slightly shaking voice and Kaitus paused, trying to remember if he had that reaction to his translator implant but then again he had gotten his when he was younger, most species now did. However he didn’t speak, trying his best to allow the little human time to assimilate to whatever it was that was going on inside its brain with the translator. He looked at the spot he had cut, the medi-gel had sealed the wound and it was no longer bleeding.

However the pale column was sitting there and that distinctive urge to lean in and take it between his teeth rose up in him again. He got to his feet, gathering up the knife and the cloth. He headed into the small kitchenette, he used the small sink to clean the knife and tucked it away back into his pack before turning back to the sink and wetting the cloth. He came back around to the human’s side. It hadn’t moved at all and he gently swiped the cloth across its neck. It shivered but didn’t respond and he kept his eyes on the profile of its strange little face rather than their neck. It was safer.

They turned their head towards him slightly. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you the turian, it seems impolite.” The words came out so even and polite that he tilted his head slightly, staring at the human. How odd, and how utterly controlled.

“Kaitus.” He said it and the human shivered again, his mouth twitching slightly. “Still overwhelming?” The human’s face twitched as it shivered again.

“A little bit.” They turned their face further, locking their dirt coloured eyes to his own. “My name is Sarah Watkins. I have been a researcher on Pluto for the past four years and this is the first and only time I am going to say this. I apologize in advance for this but I need to say it.” The overly controlled, polite tone was almost grating, he almost preferred the huma- _Sarah_ , the human’s name was Sarah, he preferred her squeaking.

He stopped, _her_? He looked at her and blinked. No, Sarah was a female name and the more he thought about it, Sarah was definitely female. He didn’t know why he hadn’t picked up on that before. Human females were more rounded than their male counterparts, softer. He should have picked up on that sooner, like when she was pressed up against him in the shower and when he had his hands wrapped around her soft waist.

“This is the first time I am going to genuinely fucking _hate_ being locked up in here for the next three months. I have done this sixteen times and I enjoyed them but I don’t know how the fuck I am going to handle this time with you because what the actual fuck is _up_ with your voice?” Her voice pitched upwards with panic or anxiety he couldn’t tell but he barely paid attention because one thing caught his _full_ attention.

“Three months?!” He practically shouted it out, his subvocals went haywire with all sorts of emotions. Disbelief, anger, shock, and straight up denial. Three months, he was trapped for the next _three fucking months?_

“Whatever you just did with that. Don’t do it again!” Sarah gathered the blankets up close and Kaitus’s subvocals put out a steady sound he couldn’t control. They were supposed to come pick him up in three standard base weeks! “Stop it!” The human’s voice pitched upwards and he snarled at her. “Oh _god_. Oh no. No no no no no.” Sarah’s eyes were wide and she slowly curled up into a ball, her head in her hands as she nearly burrowed into the blankets.

He paused, utterly confused by the response. He tamped down his emotions and did his best to stifle his subvocals. “What do you mean, trapped for three months?” He said it a s carefully as he could possibly. Sarah was still curled up  and her voice was muffled. He reached over and pulled the blankets away from her face.

Her head was still buried in her hands but she was at least speaking  clearer . “-luto weather patterns are harsh but consistent. We get only two spots of good weather per year. Fifty weeks of the year, the outposts are isolated by harsh ice storms. They come in three month bursts. There are four storms a year. This is the beginning of the long storm season. After this three months, there is only a twelve hour time period where you can get off planet before the storm hits again.” The words came out nearly clinical, as if she were reading a book on the subject but each word made his gizzard knot tighter. “The ice storm knocks out our comm towers and you cannot contact Outpost Gamma or those outside of the cloud barrier. There are proximity satellites to monitor if someone trie s to enter, so we can open radio warn them to not bre a ch the cloud barrier because the ice storm drops the temperature of the atmosphere from minus 225 degrees Celsius to minus 275 degrees Celsius. A temperature that engines and motors stop running at, but the ice and wind will knock them out far faster. Anyone attempting to enter the cloud barrier will crash.” She stopped speaking and a heavy silence fell and Kaitus thought about Tiberius, his friend and partner. 

They had crashed, there was no hope for them to even reach the ground at all aside from slamming into it with a frozen shuttle. His friend had died alone. He couldn’t stop the small keeping he gave at the thought. “Are you okay?” Sarah rounded on him, her eyes wide and concerned.

“I...I didn’t come here alone.” He swallowed his subvocals down and she tilted her head slightly.

“I know you didn’t.” At her words her froze, his eyes zeroing in on her intently. He felt himself go still and she slowly curled up slightly, as if she couldn’t stand the intensity of his stare and he liked that because if she had left Tiberius there, he wasn’t sure what he would do. “There are two research outposts on Pluto. Outpost Bravo, my outpost, and Outpost Gamma, Beth’s outpost.” The words were said low and a bit hesitantly. “When you crashed, we were able to pick up the impact location on the ground sensors. Beth said she would head out to find it. I did as well. The comms had been taken out by that point but I got within range for our helmet comms.” She glanced up at him. “Beth found the crash site, I didn’t. I found you instead. I was still nine hundred meters out but she found a turian there.” 

Her words made it hard for him to breathe but he couldn’t look away. He didn’t want to hear her tell him Tiberius was dead, he didn’t want to have to hear it from a human, not when she saved him but not his friend. “The last contact I had was she said she was taking the turian back with her to Outpost Gamma. She was much closer to Gamma then we were to Bravo. I can’t tell you what shape the other turian was in, I can’t tell you much of anything but I do know Beth would do her best to save them if they are able to be saved.” Relief filled him at the words and he nearly slumped over. There was a chance Tiberius was alive, he had his own human drag him back to a tiny outpost on a frozen planet.

“You can’t check? You can’t call?” He looked at her and she wrapped several blankets around herself before she got up. She moved over to desk and flipped several switched, displays lit up green before they flashed red. Dead silence filled the space, not even static came through but she still pressed something and bent down.

“Outpost Gamma, this is Outpost Bravo, can you read me? Outpost Gamma, this is Outpost Bravo, can you read me?” The thick silence was nearly enough to drive him insane and Sarah slowly stood up, pulling the blankets around herself further. “I’m sorry. We can’t make contact for another three months. If you want to try, if you want to fiddle with it to make yourself feel better, go ahead. But I’ve been on this planet four years. You won’t get through.” She said it softly and perhaps a bit sadly. Kaitus gave a small nod, not knowing whatever he could do or say. “I need to go to sleep. I will see you later.” Kaitus simply nodded, not really knowing what to do or say as she slowly disappeared from the room. He could hear the sound of a door sliding open and then closed and he knew he was alone. 

He slowly crawled into the blanket pile that was left on the floor and covered himself up. Perhaps the human named Sarah was right, sleep would be good. Perhaps he could sleep and forget the three month prison sentence he had just been handed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Two weeks in**

Sarah felt like a ghost. She moved silently, did her best to avoid her unexpected turian roommate. She spent most of her time in her bedroom, writing up her research papers, reading, or doing her best to forget that whenever he spoke to her, her body did that very inappropriate shiver. It was like that flanging hit a specific part of her brain that lit up  _all_ her pleasure centres.  She couldn’t explain to him  _why_ she was essentially avoiding him. She couldn’t imagine that would go over well. ‘ _Hey, Kaitus, I am avoiding you specifically because when you speak and do that thrumming thing you do, that implant you put in my head means that it is like a live wire to my downtown fun house_ .’ She could only imagine that conversation would go down like a lead balloon.

As it was s he kept talking to a minimum and she was happy to see that he did as well  for the most part . However the nights were bitterly cold and she missed having the ability to go into the main room and sleep out there on the couch. She had snagged another blanket from his bed she had made him that first night and tossed it on her own but it hadn’t helped. She nearly caved several times as she could hear the furnace kick in but simply buried herself in her blankets and  pretended everything was fine.

She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to feel, humans and turians were practically at war. She knew no one on earth or in the Alliance would understand, she doubted they would even be neutral about it. Turians weren’t considered good people, so someone learning that she wanted to fuck one? She could only imagine what people would say. She let out a sigh and stared at the tablet in front of her. She shivered, even underneath the three sweaters she had on. Her room was down to nine degrees and she was fighting the urge to go sit on the couch out in the main room. She just couldn’t be near him and pretend she hadn’t spend time a fair amount of time in the shower getting herself off after he finished feeling especially chatty with last night.

Her bedroom door opened and she swallowed down a groan and tried very poorly to fight off a blush. She could feel him staring at her and she scanned the same four lines of her research paper again and again. “It is freezing in here. Come out and sit where it is warm. I feel bad for chasing you out of your space.” She couldn’t fight back the shiver she got as his voice did that very certain thing to her and she didn’t look at him but lifted her head and gave him a quick smile she really didn’t want to have to give because she did not feel like smiling, fretting and wringing her hands over the f a ct that if he continued to talk to her she would  end up trying to  fuck him.

“I’m fine, Kaitus, thank you though.” She was absolutely sure that would go over well with him. He was a turian soldier, she was certain he was trained to hate humans. That was the worst thing about having him around. Without him, she would have gone on blissfully not thinking about the war with turians. She wouldn’t have had to think about any of it. However she now had it right front and center and had to painfully realize that stupid people were being stupid and it was a bunch of bullheaded pretend alpha males beating their chests at each other. IT was a damned headache.

However she wasn’t down to get rejected because three months with someone who rejected your offer to have sex? Yah, talk about fucking awkward. She frowned slightly and reached over for her coffee mug and then let out a disappointed sigh when she realized  her hot chocolate was cold. She closed her eyes, pinching her nose.  She d idn’t want to go out and warm it up because she knew it would be damned impossible to get her ass back into the bedroom again.

“It got cold, didn’t it?” At the question she swallowed down the urge to yelp. She had forgotten he was still there while she ranted to herself like a crazy person.

“I must have forgotten about it. I got caught up in writing about the concentrations of methane in the ice near the bottoms of the ice mountains.” She muttered it out low and made a show of turning back to her tablet. She became very aware as he moved further into the room, her body stiffened slightly and she couldn’t even help it.

“I am sure it is enthralling. What can you tell me about it?” His tone was conversational but it didn’t stop her damn shivering when she heard that stupid flanging. ‘ _So, Kaitus, do you want to fuck me up against the shower wall like I was imagining last night? If you bend over me and tell me to take it deep I might just cum before you even touch me_.’ She cursed her goddamn brain and that goddamn translator that decided to turn his voice into pure sex and sin. She wanted to throttle the inventor of it, she was certainly fucking sure they knew _exactly_ what they were doing when they made it.

“The running theory between Beth and I is that originally the mountains were carbon dioxide at the bottom with methane at the tops due to the densities of the gasses. But with the lower cloud barriers of the storm, the harsh winds have slowly worn away the bottoms of the ice mountains, bringing the methane ice to the ground while throwing the carbon monoxide ice to the tops.” Her face twitched slightly as he stopped beside her bed. He was so fucking big. ‘ _Hey, Kaitus, why don’t you crawl under the covers with me and I will let you plow me until I can only incoherently babble your name into my pillow._ ’ She hated this. Hated it all. If anyone found out about it she would be utterly shunned from society, but if _Kaitus_ found out about it. Well that would make for one long and fucking awkward ten weeks. “Making the mountain’s ice gas composition all topsy turvy.” She rested her chin on her head before tilting her head to look up at him, staring just passed his face.

“This area is generally a newer one, only a hundred million years old, so we are theorizing that it’s why it’s so different to everywhere else on the planet. It hasn’t created those rock like ice formations yet that you can see everywhere else, the ones with the methane ice cores and the carbon monoxide shells.” She was hoping that if she continued to babble science at him, he would get bored and leave her alone. She just didn’t want to be near him at the moment. ‘ _Sooo, Kaitus, want to shove me against the wall and make me come on your more than likely giant cock? If you dirty talk you will put me on a hair trigger and you can make me orgasm more than once._ ’ Her face twitched again and he slowly reached out and picked up her coffee mug.

“Would you like me to warm this up for you? It’s still full.” His voice was so civil and polite, so conversational and the damned thing _still_ made her want to bend over at the waist and ask him to fuck her through a wall. She knew he was staring at her and she flicked her gaze to see what he was doing and his gaze was zeroed in on her neck, his brow plates pulled down into a frown.

She hastily covered it up with her hand her face flaring with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Kaitus. I keep forgetting.” She couldn’t get into the habit of not exposing her neck to him. She wasn’t used to being around someone who got upset at it,  she wasn’t u s ed to being around anyone at all.

“I’ll warm this up for you.” The words were conversational but he let out a lower rumble with them that made her eyes want to pop open and her thighs squeeze together tightly. She could only imagine what that rumbling would feel like between her legs. ‘ _Not helping, Sarah, you stupid, horny bitch._ ’ She hated her head sometimes. She hated existing in it. 

K aitus left and the minute the door closed she buried her face into her hands with a groan. She didn’t know what the fuck she was going to do. Freeze to death in her bedroom because she couldn’t come to terms with the fact she was irrevocably horny for the turian she dragged home. They were two weeks in and she was already barely leaving her bedroom and he was starting to seek her out. There was only so much she could do to continue to attempt to be a ghost.

The door to her bedroom opened and he was fucking thrumming slightly and she vigorously rubbed her forehead, wanting to rub the dirty thoughts away physically. “I warmed it up for you.” He came over and held out the mug and she took it with a quick smile, barely looking at him.

“Thank you.” The cup was steaming and she blew on it before taking a sip. It was perfectly warm, not too hot. “I appreciate it, Kaitus.” She did. It was nice of him to do, which again, irritated her because even human men wouldn’t have thought to do that. There was a reason she left earth and stayed gone. That had a very big reason being human men were trash. After her last boyfriend had attempted to _ruin her fucking career_. She said adios and signed up to research Pluto. She liked it out here, it was quiet, she had a friend, the work was interesting, Pluto was beautiful, and best of all there were no human men to try to tear her down because their fragile masculinity couldn’t handle her being smarter than them.

“Don’t you think you have had enough with your research paper? I saw you rubbing your forehead like it hurt.” The question as rolled out on low tones that had her shivering almost spasmodically. ‘ _No, Kaitus, I was rubbing at my forehead because I wanted my fingers to act like a fucking eraser to get the image of you fucking me into the couch out of my head. If I ask you pretty please, will you actually do it?_ ’ She took a deep gulp of her hot chocolate, trying to drown the stupid little voice in her head. “Besides you are still shivering. It’s too cold in here, warm drink or not. Just come out and warm up. I will feel a lot better about everything if you did.” He sounded so damned logical and she rubbed at her forehead again.

She knew damn well if she said no, she would be seen as rude and she couldn’t avoid him forever. She also had a feeling he wasn’t going to leave unless she actually agreed to it.  She downed the rest of her cup of hot chocolate before nodding, her mouth full. She didn’t trust that little voice enough to actually speak.

He took the empty cup from her. That damned thrumming back. “Thank you, Sarah.” At her name on those tones she damn near spewed the hot chocolate all over her blankets. She swallowed it hard and her bedroom door slid open and then closed. She yanked her pillow from behind her, buried her face into it, and screamed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Four weeks in**

The space seemed too small. He barely saw her and the space seemed far too small. It smelled like her, everything did. His scent was slowly growing in the space but underneath it all was her scent. No matter where she went, her scent lingered long after she was gone. Heated spice and a heady underlying scent that was all her. It was thick and nearly sweet and it enough to make him want to scent the air with his tongue to take in more of it.

He kept following her, going to her bedroom, trying to find things to talk about, to do for her. He would continually try and cajole her to come to the main space, to sit and warm up. Her room was too cold, he hated being in there for any length of time but he liked being near her and that damned scent more than he hated the cold. However when she came into the main space, she reapplied her scent through the space. He liked that, he wanted her to continue to do it so he was practically drowning in it.

Not just that, that slender neck of hers. She always bared it to him, he knew she believed it upset him, he let her continue to believe it. He didn’t want to tell her that it drove up this primal instinct in him to take it between his teeth. He didn’t understand it before but he did now. It was an instinct to dominate, to rut. He wanted to take that pale and slender neck between his teeth, spread her thighs, and delve into her so deep and hard she would never be able to fuck another human without thinking of him.

He would have felt guilty or dirty for the thoughts, she was human after all, but he felt the lines blurring a bit. She wasn’t like what the knew of her species. She wasn’t arrogant, she wasn’t demanding. She was a kind person, she loved helping and finding out new things, her curiosity drove her forwards and her want to better herself and the communities she orbited was at the core of who she was. She wasn’t a human to him, she was Sarah and there was nothing dirty or shameful about Sarah. Expect perhaps what he found himself wanting to do to her.

However that damned neck was like a trigger for him. She would tilt her head while she looked up at him and he wanted to dig his hand into her hair, she had told him what her strange fringe was called, pull it back farther and bite down on that slender column he had exposed. He wanted to taste her skin and explore her body. He could only imagine the various places he could find that would make her moan and writhe for him.

He looked up at the ceiling before rolling his head to stare at the object of his attention. “Are you allergic to dextro?” The question came out of him rather lazily and she froze, the tiniest of shivers rolling down her spine. He could see it, even through the numerous layers of clothes she wore just to be somewhat warm in that fridge she called a bedroom. He didn’t get the shivers but it always happened when he spoke to her and it was _some_ sort of reaction from her.

“I’m not actually sure. I was on Pluto when our species... _met_.” She was making herself something to eat and he knew she was getting him one of his ration packs. He was utterly thankful to Tiberius for being paranoid to pack the extra bag. He could eat double and still have more than enough for the next two months. He just hoped his friend was okay and at the end of all this he would see him again, alive and well.

“I’m not allergic to levo.” He had been tested, all military were. No point in sending soldiers off to war when they could die from picking up the wrong ration pack.

“That’s good.” She was coming closer and he blinked lazily. She held one of his ration packs in her hand, she had made it up for him too. She held it out and he took it with a murmured thanks. She sat on the far end of the couch, her eyes on the furnace wall. She nibbled at her own food and Kaitus slowly ate his own, not even paying attention to what it was or how it tasted. His entire focus was on the small female human sitting mere feet from him.

“Do you have antihistamines?” He had seen her cold storage, where she had all of her rations of the next six months stored but he didn’t see any medical boxes.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” She glanced at him before her eyes skittered back to the furnace.

“We should probably test you for the allergy. Just in case something were to happen, like you grabbed the wrong cup or rations. Better to be prepared.” Or for when he finally had enough and buried his face between her legs before fucking her so hard, she wouldn’t be able to think of the word sex without remembering his face.

She stopped, frowning slightly, setting her food off to the side. “I didn’t even think about that. It’s a good point.” She got up, that frown still on her face before she moved towards the desk that was sitting behind the couch. She opened a drawer and pulled out a bright red kit with a white cross on it. “What’s the best way to test it?” She tiled her head, looking at him and Kaitus clamped down on the purr he nearly let out seeing her expose her neck like she was.

“Need a marker.” He couldn’t pull his gaze away from her neck, it was too perfect. The perfect target for him to draw his teeth against, to mark up so everyone could know that he had been there first and had been there frequently.

She looked down at the desk, breaking his gaze on her neck. He forced himself to look forward, resisting the urge to look back at her. He finished his ration pack, getting up to move to the furnace wall. There was a small little chute for garbage to be incinerated and he dropped his pouch into it before moving to sit back on the couch again.

Sarah came over to him, holding out the marker. He took it and then grabbed her wrist, pulling up her sleeve to bare her forearm. Her skin was so smooth, it felt exotic to him. His hands were so used to grabbing a turian female, having plates for his hands to skip off of and then grip with his talons, digging them into the softer hide in between. Sarah’s skin didn’t have any of the protection of plates but it had all the sensitivity of those unplated areas, if her shiver was anything to go by.

He pulled the lid off the marker and made two dark lines on her inner forearm, spaced about an inch apart. “Do you trust me?” She nodded but she wasn’t looking at him as she did so. She did that often, her eyes off to the side of his face or on his carapace or to the wall beside him. Never quite looking at him at all. His mandibles twitched at that and he capped the marker, letting it drop before pulling her arm closer. He flicked his gaze up to her and she was once again staring at the furnace wall. His mandibles twitched again and he moved his face closer to her arm, taking in that spice and heady sweet scent that purely her.

He wanted to scent the air with his tongue, to reach out and bring more of that scent into his mouth, to taste it. He clamped down on the urge but not the purr he let out before he dipped his head and dragged his tongue between the two marks. It was a long rasp against her smooth skin and her taste was pure on his tongue. She yelped and tried to yank her arm away but he gave a low growl, giving the spot one more lick.

He let her arm go, “There, now we watch for an allergic reaction.” He didn’t look at her, didn’t even inhale too deeply. He had her on his tongue, the taste of the salt on her skin and the flavour that was uniquely her own. He savoured it, not looking at her because he knew if he did then he would be on her, _in_ her as soon as he could.

“You could have warned me.” It came out slightly snapped but all together nearly breathless and he shrugged, an action he had seen her do numerous other times.

“You said you trusted me. Just watch for a reaction.” He brought up his omni-tool and pretended to be absorbed in playing with it while she started to pace behind the couch.

“How long do I wait?” Her voice shook and he gave another shrug.

“Bad reactions usually appear right away. If there isn’t anything after thirty minutes, I would say you are in the clear for the most part.” He wanted to watch her, he wanted to watch her body move and shift. He was brought the image of her twisted on his lap in the shower, her body twisting in a graceful line as she reached for the water taps. He had wanted to cup her waist to bite her neck even then.

He resisted the urge to watch and as the seconds ticked by it became harder and harder to do just that. He wanted to know how she would move when he was buried plates deep within her. He wanted to see how she would move if he were to lick the apex of her thighs. He didn’t know what human females looked like. He wondered if they were similar to turian females, just without the plates but he didn’t know. He _wanted_ to know, though. _Spirits_ , did he want to know. He wanted to strip her of the layers she kept putting on and see her bare before him. He wanted to see how well her soft body would mold to his own harder form.

She was still pacing, he could hear her going back and forth, back and forth. He wanted to watch as he did so but he clamped down on his instincts and held fast. The time was counting down, he was watching. He wanted he to be in the clear, he wanted for there to be no reaction so her could pin her against the nearest wall and do his best to fuck her through it.

He realized he should have felt a little bit more concerned with his thoughts but there was no Hierarchy out on the frozen dwarf planet they were on. There was no military here, no war. There was barely any species to him, he stopped looking at her like a human and he had started to view her as just Sarah, with the soft looking brown hair, the pale and slender neck, and the smile that made his heart nearly flutter in his chest. It was a lot easier to stop questioning the species aspect once he started viewing her as just Sarah, it was just was easy to start viewing the situation as just Kaitus and Sarah. They were two beings, trapped in a small outpost on a frozen wasteland.

If they ended up fucking? Well, there wasn’t much to be too concerned about there, especially if she didn’t have any reactions to him. He realized he had been staring at his omni-tool, not even pretending to fiddle with it. He focused on the sounds she was making as she walked back and forth, focused on her scent, on her presence. He didn’t know how but the minute she walked into the space she seemed to captivate him. His focus went to her and only her.

A part of him wondered if it was just because they were stuck together, trapped together. He wondered if the effect would fade once they were no longer together. Perhaps it was the forced solitude, he was male and she was female, and it was his instincts that were demanding some sort of action from him, to stake his claim on the only available female. He didn’t know and for the moment, he didn’t even want to think about it.

“I don’t think I have a reaction.” Her voice was nearly a whisper and he stiffened.

“If you aren’t certain, we can repeat the process.” He kept his tone even and conversational, unaffected. There was a thick silence and he was aware she wasn’t moving.

“No, thank you.” It came out on a breathless type of whisper before she finally moved. He watched as she nearly bolted for the bedroom. His mandibles fluttered against his face and he felt the insane urge to follow her, to chase her down and explore her body with his teeth and tongue. He couldn’t help himself and he scented the air with his tongue, bringing her scent further into his body, his mouth. He stayed in his spot for what seemed like a lifetime before he couldn’t help himself.

He pushed off of the couch and stalked towards the bedroom. The door opened and she wasn’t curled up in her bed, those strange heavy looking data pads of hers spread around her. The shower was going though. He paused, hearing a faint sound, a moan that had his heart pounding in his throat. He started to pull off his undersuit as he came into the bathroom.

“Kaitus!” It was a low and breathless gasp but it wasn’t from her spotting him, she hadn’t even seen him and that made a vicious need pump through his veins. He could scent her arousal and his name on her lips, carried out on a gasping moan sent him to the razor edge of his control. He dropped the suit onto the bathroom floor and moved into the small shower. She stiffened, nearly jolting, her one hand pressed against the shower wall, the other on her stomach.

“Tell me to leave and I will leave, I won’t bring it up again, I won’t broach this subject again. If you want me to go, tell me to go.” The steam made the scent of her arousal seem thicker, warmer. He grasped her waist, it was not quite as small as a turian females but softer, so much softer. Her body was rounded and soft against his hands, and he felt his plates loosening. She inhaled sharply, her back was to him and she shivered underneath his touch. He slid his hands up her sides, feeling the soft skin move under his hand and the feeling her bones of her rib cage underneath his palms, the contrast made him want to grunt with pleasure. So different, so exotic to his palms. “If you don’t, I am going to press you up against this wall and I will drive myself so deep into you, that you won’t be able to know where I end and you begin.” He lowered his voice and brought his face closer to that oh so tempting neck of hers.

“Tell me to go, Sarah, and I will leave.” At his voice, she shuddered, a full body shudder underneath his palms and he watched as her skin bumped up slightly. He stepped closer, pressing against her firmly. “Or tell me to stay.” A heavy thrum of his subvocals had her hand going to one of his, her many slim fingers gripping it tightly. He didn’t want her to tell him to leave, he would if she did but he didn’t want that. He wanted to drown himself in her.

“Stay.” It came as a gasping plea and he let out a heavy thrum of desire and appreciation as he bent down, sliding his tongue along the column of her throat to get another taste of her. “ _Kaitus_!” She inhaled sharply, leaning forward, pressing herself into his plates as she shuddered. He bent over her, a low snarl stuck in his throat as he slid his hands over her, feeling frantic, the need was burning underneath his plates, he wanted to use her to scratch it out.

He cupped her between her legs, she was unplated and open for him and he shuddered, letting out a curse as he felt the wetness there. His plates loosened completely and his cock slipped out to press against her ass. She gave a small moan, murmuring things too low for him to hear as she pushed against him more firmly. He stroked her slick, wet flesh with his fingers, feeling nearly drunk off of her scent and he nuzzled her neck. She reached up, pulling her hair from neck, baring that beautiful skin for him. His instincts roared at him, _through_ him.

He clamped his hands on her, his teeth pressing to her neck, mandibles twitching as he held her tightly in place. He adjusted his cock, moving it slowly between her legs until the tip felt the wetness of her folds, of her opening. She was letting out gasping breaths, gripping at his arms, her little nails digging into the seams of the plating she hung onto and he grunted, a low thrum rumbling out of him without pause as he slowly sank into her tight, wet heat. He snarled as he pushed into her and pulled her onto him. He wanted into her up to his plates, he wanted to her to take it all. She let out a low whine, her head thrown back as she gasped.

He forced his jaw to let her go before he licked her from the bottom of her neck to her chin. “Take it, Sarah.” He growled the words at her, and she tightened on him inside, squeezing him rhythmically as she let out a cry carrying his name. He grunted into her throat, nuzzling it, taking in her scent as she came on his cock. “Take it all.” He gave another slow but forceful thrust that had her going onto her toes but he was buried in her completely, right up to his plates. She was letting out sobbing gasps, shaking in his grip and a primitive part of him felt satisfied to see her undone like this.

Her head fell into his cowl and she turned her face to his neck, her hot panting breath brushing his skin and those soft lips of hers, brushing the sensitive skin there. He pulled from her heat, feeling as her body resisted the move and she inhaled sharply. He slammed back into her, driving himself into her sharply. She stiffened in his arms and the moan she let out played through the steam and danced down his neck, making him shudder. He did it again and her arm came up, her nails digging into the side of his neck as her moan seemed ripped from her.

The feeling of the sharp little bits of pain from her blunt nails was what snapped his control. He shoved her forward, pressing her into the wall as he buried his hand into her hair and drove himself into her again and again. His plates smacked against her and he grunted, throwing his head back as the pleasure washed over him as she stiffened again. A sharp cry escaped her and she writhed in his grip, her wet pussy squeezing him nearly like a vice. He bared his teeth, letting out a snarl as he rocked himself inside of her, riding out her orgasm. His breathing was coming out in ragged pants and he curled his tongue out, bringing the scent and flavour of her arousal into his mouth. He loved it.

He removed his hand from her hair and leaned forward, grabbing her wrist. He held it against the wall, letting out a small and satisfied thrum against her neck as he nuzzled it. He surrounded her as he pulled his other arm around her waist, holding her tight. She gasped, nearly sobbing out her breaths. “I can’t.” It came out a ragged moaning whisper and he gave a deep, bass growl in return that had her shuddering in his arms.

“You can and will.” He whispered it in her ear, letting his tongue trace the delicate shell of it.

“I can’t, Kaitus! It’s too much.” It was gasped and she shifted her weight on her legs and he could feel her stretching around him and he grunted deep in his chest. “Too much.” She whispered it and he let her wrist go to grab her chin, he turned her head and her eyes were closed, as if she were unable to keep them open. The tops of her cheeks were a flushed pink and her hair stuck to her in places. He licked at her lips, tasting her breath and she let out a heady sounding moan. “It’s too much.” Her eyes fluttered open and this close he could see her irises were speckled with amber, not fully brown like he had first believed.

“You will be okay.” He nuzzled her cheek and she pressed her lips to the bridge of her nose. “But you will still take it.” He growled the words against her as he pulled himself out to the tip and then slammed back into her. She let out a wail, her head thrown back, her mouth dropping open. He liked seeing the look on her face, he liked watching her come undone on his cock.

He thrust into her hard and fast, seeking his own release as he forced another onto her. He liked how she felt squeezed around him, he liked how the feeling of it could be felt from his fringe down to the tips of his talons. He sunk his teeth into the crook of her neck with a snarl. She yelped but he drove himself into her hard and fast, listening to the sound of his plates smacking her soft skin. She tensed in his arms and he gave another heavy growl, the primitive side of him taking over. It wanted to rut, to hold her in place to take his lust. It wanted her to do nothing but take him and take him deep.

His world focused only on the feeling of burying himself into her, the sound of his plates meeting her flesh, and her raw cries and sobbing moans as he forced her to take his lust. She threw her head back and he loosened his jaw, not wanting to tear her skin open and she clamped down on his cock hard. She stiffened in his arms, nothing more escaped her mouth as it dropped open and he drove into her, through the slick tightness that was begging for seed, any seed, _his_ seed.

He snarled and shoved himself as deep as he could go, giving her body what he was demanding from him. The pleasure burst from him, making him shudder and tense all at the same time. He filled her, lazily rolling his hips as he came. His breath was in ragged pants and hers were coming out in near wheezes. He could feel the after shocks of her orgasms rippling over his cock as it slowly finished pumping out his seed and retreated, well used.

He let out a heavy thrum of satisfaction with his subvocals and kept her tight to him until his cock had fully retreated from her pussy, tucking back into his plates. She let out a faint little sound that he wanted to believe was remorseful. He nuzzled his neck before he caught himself, the coppery scent of blood bringing him slightly out of the haze of pleasure he had been riding.

He pulled back from her, glancing down to see where his teeth had punctured. She was bleeding and without his tight hold she slumped against the wall, shaking all over. He gave another small thrum at her before slowly turning her around. Her eyes looked wet and they were heavy lidded. Her face was flushed red and her hair stuck to her and the fleshy bumps on her chest. Blood lazily made trails down her skin and he reached behind her and shut the water off before bending down and lifting her up.

Her legs wrapped around her waist, her thighs hooking on his hip spurs even as she murmured out a faint protest. Her arms wrapped around his neck, within his cowl before she nuzzled his neck and went nearly boneless in his arms. The position made his plates want to loosen again. He could feel her slickness rubbing against his stomach and his mandibles twitched and he fought back the instinctive reaction to let his plates slide open again. He needed to take care of the marks he had given her. He gripped the fleshy and soft swell of her ass, his other arm around her back, holding onto that tantalizing rib cage of hers as he carried her out of the bathroom and to the main room.

The air was warm and he gently set her into his little blanket nest, tucking her into the warm blankets. He nuzzled the uninjured side of her neck before licking up the side of it lazily, tasting the sweat and arousal that still clung to her. He could taste a bit of his own scent on her skin and it settled that primordial predator inside him. He let her go, heading to the kitchen nook to dig in the bags.

He pulled out some medi-gel and then grabbed a cloth, wetting it so he could clean her up. He returned to her and she was tilted over, curled up in his space. He let out another thrum of satisfaction at the thought her scent would be deep within the fabrics. He got in beside her before gently wiping at the blood that had made its lazy way down her skin. She hissed slightly, her eyes cracking open as he pressed against the bite marks. He rumbled a faint apology before he carefully put the medi-gel on them. He watched as the gel slowly hardened to a rubbery bandage, keeping the skin closed and stopping the bleeding.

Kaitus couldn’t help himself as he drew his tongue up her neck again, curling it along her jaw. The taste of her was so very exotic and wholly her own. He knew he would never again find a person that had her taste anywhere else in the universe. “Let me clean you.” He rumbled the words out and she tilted her head lazily at him, blinking slow and leisurely. He gently spread her legs, sing the clothe to clean between her legs, gently swiping away the bits of him that were leaking from her. She stiffened and moved slightly at each touch, her body shivering and he felt satisfied that she was still so sensitive. It nearly satisfied him as much as the pearly blue sheen of his seed on her thighs and skin.

“I can’t do another round right now, Kaitus. You will probably kill me.” She murmured the words before reaching up and cupping his mandible in her hand. He stiffened, not sure what she was doing before she pressed her lips to his mouth plate gently, her small tongue flicking out to lick them gently. “Thank you though.” She murmured the words against his mouth plates and then pulled away.

He stiffened further and snaked a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her back to his face. Her hand went from his mandible to his cowl, fingers digging in. He licked at her mouth and she gasped. He pressed closer, trying to mimic the actions she had done, darting his tongue inside her mouth to touch against her own. He liked that, liked the taste of her as she groaned against him and pressed closer. He wrapped his arm around her back and hauled her into his lap, her legs splitting across his waist. He didn’t know what humans called what they were doing but he liked it. He liked the licking at her teeth and tongue as her lips caressed his semi-flexible mouth plates. He felt drunk off the taste of her and his grip reflexively tightened and loosened on her neck.

He adjusted her position on his lap, his plates loosening. Her desire and arousal rolled off of her skin in waves and he took it all in, the grip she had on his cowl, her small flat tongue as it ran over his own, the sweet taste she had, the scent of her sinking into his plates and hide, and that tiny roll of her hips against his waist that sent pleasure shooting through him. He relaxed his plates and with a quick adjustment, relaxed further, letting his cock slip from his plates straight into her tight but pliant heat.

She gasped against his mouth, rocking slightly in his lap. “Kaitus.” It was a breathless whisper and he wanted to hear it again. She pulled back from him, her head back as she rocked against him. Her neck was bared and he dragged his hands down her sides, his talons leaving red marks but he didn’t push harder, knowing how delicate the skin truly as. The contract of her pale skin against his dark plates made him shiver. She was so delicate, so vulnerable without any plates but she rolled her hips, riding him without abandon. He wondered if she only saw him as Kaitus, not as a turian, just like he saw her as only Sarah and not as a human.

He leaned towards her, dragging his tongue over a protruding bone across her chest. He liked how it pushed against her skin, how predominant it was. It reminded him almost like the edge of his own cowl. “Here. Touch me here.” She gasped it out and grabbed one of his hands, guiding it to one of the fleshy bumps on her chest. He squeezed it and she rocked harder in his lap. He explored the newest part of her body, experimenting between stroking and squeezing before he leaned forward and flicked his tongue out, dragging it across the dark and pebbled protrusion.

Her hands snapped to the back of his neck and she dug her nails into the softer skin beneath his fringe, holding him closer. He snarled, twining his tongue around the sensitive protrusion, wanting her to dig her nails in harder to the sensitive hide. She did so, his name coming out from her lips like a song. He switched to the other one on her chest, breathing heavy and ragged as need burned under his plates once more.

He thrust up into her, jolting her in hips lap, those fleshy bits jiggling in front of him in a rather delightful manner. He did it again, tilting his head as she gave a low moan and they jiggled again. He would have to ask her what those were when he wasn’t plates deep inside of her. He leaned forward and licked one as he thrust again and she gave a choked gasp. He grabbed her hips and pushed forward. She landed on her back and he loomed over her, her thighs tight around his waist as her hair fanned out around her on the blankets. The orange glow of the firelight danced against her skin and he bent down, licking at her lips before he thrust into her. Her head went back and the front of her throat was bared to him, her pulse fluttering underneath the sensitive and thin skin.

His jaw ached to take it between his teeth but his gaze was drawn to the healing mark still on her neck. He settled for nuzzling it with his nose as he thrust into her again and again, shuddering at the way her pussy tightened on his cock, moulding to it even though it wasn’t designed to take him. He liked knowing that he was stretching her in a way she had never experienced before. Her hand slid down her stomach and he leaned up, watching as she rubbed at the top of her pussy, the hair there making his mandible flick out in a smirk, he would have to explore that later. She rubbed with a heady moan, close to where he split her open and she arched her back. There was something there that she liked to touch. He pushed her hand away and used his thumb, he found a small bead of flesh that had her choking on a gasp when he rubbed against it.

Satisfied he found it, he set about thrusting into her, long and deep, rubbing and circling the small bead of flesh in the same rhythm. A heavy curse he didn’t catch escaped her as her back arched of the blankets, her pussy squeezing at him but not clamping down. He increased the speed he thrust into her and she let out a wail, her back arching up and her hands jerking to grab the blankets in tight fists, her knuckles turning white.

“Fuck, Kaitus!” She clenched her jaw and he liked the heated red flush that covered her chest and the sweat that beaded on her forehead as he drove into her. He snapped his hips into her and she came. Her body tensed and she writhed on him, her pussy clamping down so hard on his cock he had to grunt and start recounting his basic training tenants to keep from spilling inside her before he wanted.

He continued to move, rubbing at the little spot before she grabbed his hand, pushing it away as her breathing shuddered out of her. “Sensitive. Too sensitive.” It came out in pants and she locked her gaze with his and he gave a rolling thrust that she moaned at before wincing. He froze, buried deep inside her, that was not a pleasure look, that was a something hurts look. He didn’t need to know human expressions to pick that out. She frowned slightly as she went up onto her elbows to look at where they joined. She shifted a leg around his waist. “My thighs sting a little.” He gently moved her leg, checking where it had been wrapped around him. The skin was a little red and looked a bit raw.

He didn’t like the look of it, it looked rubbed raw. “My plates.” He muttered it out and then slowly withdrew from her. She reached forward, pressing a hand to his stomach. He looked at her, pulling his mandibles tight to his face.

“We could...” She swallowed slightly. “Like in the shower.” Her face flushed that delightful red and he watched as it touched her ears and moved down her chest, he reached forward, brushing the back of his fingers across it. “With you behind, it won’t rub too much.” She looked up at him and he purred at her, watching her shiver at the sound. He leaned forward and licked at her lips, pulling her into another bit of tongue tangling, lips biting, and tasting each other. He really needed to know what she called it. He could do that, take her from behind. He wasn’t done yet and he liked that she suggested it. He pulled away and he grasped her hips, his cock was large and a deep shade of blue and it looked strange between her pale pink legs but he liked it. He liked how it looked.

She moved one of her legs away and he helped her as she shifted, turning around face down in front of him. The position hit him with a punch of desire that made him feel drunk, his slid his hand from the curve of her ass down her spine to her neck where he gripped it. She shivered, tilting her head in the blankets, showing him her face profile. The slowing orange of the fake flames danced over her skin, giving the pale skin a golden glow that he liked. She was attractive, he could admit that. She had a golden glowing beauty to that he had never seen before. Even the blue tones of the asari had nothing on how her skin glowed.

She shifted her legs further apart and he let out an appreciative purr. He looked at where he gripped her neck, they were so different, in colour and in feel but they fit. Somehow, someway, they fit. He grasped his cock in his hand, stroking it as he looked down at her pussy, it was a deep pink colour and glistened with her own lubrication and remnants of his seed. He bent down and licked her, unable to help himself. Her taste was sweet and almost tart on his tongue, it made his jaw ache and she yelped slightly, wiggling in his grip. He couldn’t help himself as he took her in, mandibles twitching on his face as he let out a heavy rumbling purr. He liked the taste of her in his mouth and coating his throat.

He pulled away, wiping at his chin as he watched her pant, her eyes closed and body shuddering. He gripped his cock and brought it to her entrance. “Ready, Sarah?” It came out more rumble than words but she nodded, shuddering as she panted. He slid in slowly, enjoying the feeling of her stretching around him, squeezing and pulsing as she gave a low drawn out moan, pushing back into him. He let her neck go as he bent down, licking up her back. He liked the taste of the salt and himself on her skin. He wanted to cover her in his scent so that mixture was there no matter where he tasted.

He grasped her hips, liking how they flared out from her waist, there wasn’t the dramatic jut of a female turian, hers was softer, rounded, and he liked how it felt in his hands. He shifted on his knees before drawing back and thrusting back in. She jolted forward with the thrust and she gripped the blanket in her hand, her eyes closed as she bit her bottom lip. He watched her for a moment, relishing in her pulsing heat wrapped around him before he set a strong pace, short and hard thrusts that jolted her underneath him.

She mewled, arching her back and he grunted at the sight of the dip in her back deepening. He pressed his hand to it and thrust harder. The impact of his hips coming flush with hers, stuttered her moans and cries as he took her again. He wanted her to see him every time a human touched her, there was a thrill he got from the idea he was taking something from the humans that had brutalized turian soldiers. He liked the thought that she would remember him, she would forever compare her own species to him when they touched her, and that she would find them lacking in comparison. He liked that he was making a mark on her, marking her in a way no human male could ever compare.

He liked this sort of victory, the one where he didn’t have to kill or use force. Just the slick slide of his cock within her, marking her as his. He liked the idea that she would remember him because he knew that when their other two months were up, he would have to leave her behind. The thought threw him off his rhythm and he stalled, buried deep inside of her. He panted, staring down at her, holding her so tight he was afraid he would leave her with bruises. He would have to leave her. There was nothing for them outside of this outpost, of this storm.

 _Nothing_.

She shifted beneath him, lifting her head, her hair fell in soft curling waves as she looked at him. “Are you alright?” She panted, the flushed skin of her face and chest showing him how much she enjoyed his possession of her but he nodded regardless bending over her and licking her cheek. She turned her face towards him and he nuzzled the skin of her cheek, dragging the scent of her deep into his lungs.

He straightened and closed his eyes before starting to move again. He would mark her, leave his mark on her, in her but the thought of leaving her at the end sent a faint pang through him, letting him know she was leaving her mark on him too. He pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to unpack them, so he focused on how she felt, how wet she was, how she tightened around him, her body wasn’t made for his cock, but she took it. _Spirits,_ she took him right up to his plates.

He let out a growl, baring his teeth as he thrust harder, taking long and deep strokes into her. She gave breathless moans in return and he felt her start to rub at that bead of flesh above where he was splitting her and he let out a deep bass groan as the action sent her inner muscles clutching down on him. “So close.” She gasped it out and he kept at the pace, wanting to draw it out of her. “Kaitus!” It was a nearly a whine and he looked down at her, her eyebrows were drawn up and her mouth was open as she panted. He could see the pleasure written on her expression, the edge she was drawing close too.

Without breaking his stride he leaned down, licking at her lips. “Come for me, Sarah. Just for me.” He let out a rumbling purr of satisfaction as she gave a sharp cry, her entire body tensing and shaking as she came on his cock. He didn’t hold back, he thrust into her harder, letting the pleasure come loose as he buried himself into her, coming with her, giving her body what it wanted. He nearly collapsed on top of her, landing on his elbows. She was sucking in gasping breaths and he wrapped his arm around her and then fell to the side, dragging her with him. He tucked her close, pressing his face into her hair, enjoying the scent of sex and arousal that seemed to emanate from the strands. He flicked his mandibles, stirring the strands as he did so, nearly tangling them.

He knew he would need to say goodbye, but that was later. Now he just wanted to bask in the post sex bliss that was leaving his limbs heavy. He would think about it later, address it later. Right now he just waned to stay wrapped around her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Eight weeks in**

Sarah was absorbed in her book, leaning up against Kaitus’ carapace, that is what he had told her it was called. His arm was wrapped around her neck, resting between her breasts, his taloned fingers slowly brushing against the strip of skin showing at her hip. He was hard and spiky but she was still comfortable as she lazed again him. She let out a sigh and turned the page in the hardcover book. It was such a bittersweet story that was well loved by her. It told the story of a woman falling in love with an angel who had fell to earth. It was bittersweet because the angel could not stay and at the very end, his parting words to her were ‘ _So we will meet again, where the beginning meets the end, where we will stare out across the memories and the lives lived. We will meet again, my love, with a new beginning where we will stand as one_.’. It never failed to make her cry. There was nothing after the words. A bittersweet love story that wrench her insides hard.

She had a feeling why she had been drawn to the book so much at the moment, a feeling why the bittersweetness of the story called to her. There was nothing for her and Kaitus, not outside of the little outpost. She hated to think about it but she knew. She had always known. They had the moments they had, they had the memories they made, and in the end, that was it. She swallowed hard, trying her hardest to ignore the lump that had grown in her throat.

She didn’t want to think of the end, didn’t want to watch in terror as it drew closer and closer to her losing him. She knew there was no way that it would work, that they could be together. They had now, and that was it. Just like the woman and the angel. They knew their time was limited, that their love, while intense, and sweet, and all encompassing, was not fit to last. The last words spoke of them meeting in a different life, with a different beginning. Somewhere where they were both different, where they were not who they were.

She felt her eyes go glassy and she sniffled, unable to stop herself. Kaitus bent down, nuzzling her hair, his mandibles flicking at the strands, “Why do you read it if it upsets you?” His voice was deep and still sinful but she had grown used to it. It still made her shudder but didn’t overwhelm her near as much, not unless he was driving into her, whispering dirty things in her ear. She sniffled again and wiped at her eyes as he chuckled, his hand gripping her hip, giving her a half embrace. “Why do you read it, Sarah, if it hurts you?” He nuzzled her ear, his tongue touching her sticky cheek, tasting her tears.

“Because it’s beautiful.” She croaked it out and he wrapped his other arm around her and hauled her onto his lap. That was it, it was why she was here, doing what she was. She wouldn’t trade her time with Kaitus for anything because it was beautiful. Doomed from the start but these moments, the gentle ones where he held her close, nuzzling her cheek with his flat nose, were beautiful to her. She reached up, cupping his mandible and he tilted his face into the touch, his eyes closing as he huffed out a breath. “Because it's beautiful, even if it hurts in the end.” And it _would_ hurt. She knew it would. It would tear her open and leave her raw but it was beautiful enough to be worth it.

“Silly little human.” He gave a low thrum with the words before he buried his face into her neck, fluttering his mandibles against her skin, making her giggle. She closed her eyes against the sudden surge of pain that struck her straight through her chest at the thought that this was it, there was nothing more for them. She swallowed hard before slowly letting the book fall from her hands.

She turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck in his cowl before kissing him, it felt urgent and raw but she didn’t care. She wanted him, wanted him to chase away the pain that was gathering inside of her ribs. He met her passion with his own, his hands slipping underneath her sweater, his talons skipping across her skin, leaving stinging red marks. He stripped her bare and she pushed at the under suit he never really quite put all the way on. She figured his plates helped for something with the heat, the radiant warmth from the furnace seemed to soak into them and the heat lingered long after the roaring head died down.

Large hands grasped her ass and Kaitus lifted her up, she was leaning over him now and she reached up, tracing his red markings with her fingers. His mandible twitched against her fingertips and she grinned. She knew he was ticklish there but she left it alone to slip her fingers underneath it. He froze, as he always did when the sensitive skin was touched. She gently brushed the pad of her thumb against the sensitive, delicate skin on the underside of his mandible, liking how he shivered at it.

She smirked slightly before letting his mandible fall back into place and then tapped her index finger against his mouth plates, he nipped at it and she giggled again. She bent down, brushing her nose against his flat one. His tongue slipped out, flicking against her bottom lip and she grinned before kissing him like he wanted. Turians didn’t kiss, he had told her as much, but he liked when she kissed him and he could kiss back in that familiar yet strange way he could.

The world tilted and she landed on the blankets, Kaitus looming over top of her. He went up on his arm, looking down at her with those sharp blue eyes of his that took in every detail, leaving not one out. She reached up, cradling his face in her hands. He purred at her, a deep bass thrum that made her shiver as his eyes softened and he turned his head to nip at her palm before flicking his tongue out to lick at it. Her head jumped in her throat, that pain striking again, causing her breath to hitch in her chest.

Beautiful, even if it hurt.

She shifted her legs and his brow plates shifted and she grinned at him, swallowing the pain as she put her bare feet on his carapace and kicked him off her. He was heavier than her, stronger than her, but he wasn’t expecting it and he toppled backwards. She scrambled to her feet, laughing as she dashed towards the bedroom. She could hear his excited snarl as he gave chase. There was never room to run but she dashed into the bedroom and slipping into the bathroom. She had the shower on by the time his bulk filled the doorway.

She watched him, locking her gaze with his as she pulled her sweater up and over her head, letting it drop to the floor between them. Her pants followed until she was naked, the water cascading over her. They had sex hundreds of times, finding positions and ways to do so without his plates rubbing at her skin painfully. Her favourite was in the shower, where the hot water softened his rough plates and he could hold her close, where she could wrap herself around him and not be rubbed raw.

She leaned against the shower wall and lifted her chin before arching her body. A deep thrum emanated from him as she did so, the vibration carried through the space, dancing along her skin. She gasped, slowly raising her arms over her head, holding them against the wall as she watched him. He kicked off the rest of the undersuit and stalked towards her. He grasped her waist and bent down, his tongue swirling designs against her neck.

She let out a soft sigh, relaxing towards him, letting him explore as he waited for the hot water to soften his plates. She reached for him, her hand falling to his waist, massaging the unplated sections with her fingers. He grunted, his hips rolling forward. She could see his pelvic plates loosening, increasing the gap. He was so alien to her, his body all sharp angles and hard plates but she liked the look of her hands on the darkness of his skin, if his plates. She liked feeling his hardness press into her, he like how her softness complimented his own hard angles.

Beautiful, even if it hurt.

She fought down a cry, pressing her body to his, stroking his sides, scratching her nails against the hide between his plates. Another deep rumble escaped him and she shuddered at the feel of it against her body. There was nothing for them out there, there could be nothing. She tilted her head back and he nipped at the skin as she drew in ragged gasps. She turned her face into the shower’s spray, trying to hide the tears that were forming. His rough hands slid down her body before reaching the tops of her thighs, he lifted her easily and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He pressed her against the wall and she closed her eyes.

“Kaitus...” It came out on a whisper and he nipped at her bottom lip and kissed her, tongue snaking in her mouth to rub against her own. She wrapped her arms around his neck, seeking out the unplated skin and that one spot underneath his fringe that he always melted at when she touched. She had learned how to touch him and he had learned how to touch her. He knew her body as well as she did and that sharp spike of pain flared, making her chest and ribs ache.

It was beautiful, even if it fucking hurt.

She felt his plates loosen and his cock emerged, her rubbed it against her with a thrumming growl. “Sarah.” He bit down on her shoulder, his teeth just shy of breaking the skin. She would have been scarred up if he hadn’t use his medi-gel on her, half the time she wanted to tell him no, to leave her with some reminder of him but she never did. He let her shoulder go to nuzzle her ear, “You feel what you do to me?” The question made her shudder, her desire for him making her breath hitch as he slid his slick cock through her folds, his lubrication mixing with her own.

She whimpered, biting her bottom lip as she scratched at the unplated hide at the back of his neck. He could make the hurt go away, he could loosen the ache in her chest even though he was the one who put it there. He made her the happiest she had ever been and he would destroy her in the end. He drew her down over his cock and she moaned, it catching in her chest as she threw her head back, letting the water fall over her face to hide the tears that were falling. He cbit her shoulder again as he clutched her to him tight, holding her on him, letting her stretch around him. He was so big inside her that she felt empty without him. Like he had carved her out for only him.

His teeth dug in deeper, breaking the skin and she knew he would have to patch her up afterwards but she didn’t care. She wanted him to mark her skin, to leave her with a reminder who he was. She swallowed hard, breath coming out in gasps as he let her shoulder go. The wounds stung and he murmured something in that flanging voice before he nipped at her chin with his mouth plates, tongue coming out to smooth over the slight paint. She tightened her grip around his neck as she felt him adjust his legs. She knew what he was doing and she braced herself. She was never quite ready for when he started thrusting but always eager.

He drew back and thrust in hard, leaving her feeling like he had punched the air from her lungs and he didn’t let up. She was forced to gasp for air as he drove her through his passion and her own, demanding she give in and give up. He whispered in her ear, talking about how she felt around him, how he wanted to watch her come. She had tears in her eyes as everything felt so utterly sharp, the pleasure matching that sharp spike of pain that threatened to shatter her ribs.

“Kaitus,” She sobbed out his name, tensing as everything tightened to a faint point in front of her.

She strained, reaching for it before he drew her down all the way to his plates. “Come for me.” His words were hot and rasping in her ear and it shattered her. She couldn’t breathe, she could only feel as the pleasure crashed over her, sending black spots dancing in her vision. She nearly sobbed, pulling herself closer to him, pressing into him tightly, ignoring how his keel bone pressed into her sternum almost painfully. “That’s it, Sarah. That’s it.” She buried her face in his neck and closed her eyes as he rocked into her as she squeezed down on him, her inner muscles spasming on his cock. She wasn’t sure if they were trying to bring him deeper or push him out but the involuntary actions made her shake with residual pleasure.

He started moving again and she gave a sharp cry, burying herself into his neck, trying to get as close to him as she possibly could. She wanted to cry, wanted to sob at how utterly unfair it was. It was unfair to have this, to be in this moment and know that it would never again happen. “No one else, Kaitus.” She gasped the words out and he grunted, moving quicker. “Just you.” She whispered the words into his ear and a rumbling snarl escaped him as he pressed her hard into the wall, pounding into her hard and fast.

His teeth bit down on her neck, his mandibles fluttering against her skin. She leaned back, pressing her throat into them, trusting him with her life. She closed her eyes, scratching at the bare hide she could find on his neck and his cowl. Only him. There would be no one else.

He let her throat go, grabbing it with his hand, lifting her chin to meet his gaze. “Only me, Sarah. Only I can make you feel like this.” It was snarled out and her eyes fluttered closed, everything swarming around her, the heat building that threatened to burn her to ash.

“Only you.” She whispered it and tensed with a sob, he thrust into her hard and deep and shattered her again. It was agony, beautiful, pleasurable agony and she sobbed. Only him. There was only him, would be only him, No one else.

It was so fucking beautiful, and it was tearing her apart inside.


	11. Chapter 11

**Eleven weeks in**

Why did it hurt?

He paced back and forth and fought for a semblance of control. It hurt. His carapace ached with a pain he had never experienced before. He paced to try and work it out. His gaze landed on her, his Sarah, as she lay sleeping in their little nest in front of the furnace. He could see the marks he left on her, the red lines that had been growing more red and deeper as he dug his talons in that much harder. He wanted to leave her with marks, leave her feeling him.

It _hurt_.

She lay there, sleeping after he had came to her frantic and ravenous, wearing her out and bringing her to tears she told him were okay. She cupped his mandible and said it was beautiful and it was okay. Her smile was sad and it fucking _hurt_. There was nothing for them, nothing left but a week and he hurt in a way he hadn’t expected. He stalled in his pacing, watching how the light from the flames danced over her skin, making it glow in the way he loved. A keening rose in his subvocals. There was nothing out there for them. _Nothing_.

And it hurt.

He moved towards the couch, gripping the back of it with talons digging in deep as he watched her sleep. So peaceful and beautiful. She was a salvation he hadn’t realized he needed or even wanted and the thought of leaving her, of walking away made his throat feel tight. Turians couldn’t cry, couldn’t form wetness in their eyes but he would have for her if he could, for the pain of leaving her.

He had grown to know her, to know how she liked her hot chocolate and her food, just as she had gotten to know how he liked his kava and his ration packs. She liked how he ran his hands through her soft curls and he liked how she stroked his fringe, pressing her lips to his forehead plates in tender kisses. He liked how she was ticklish when he fluttered his mandibles against her neck and she liked it when he let her stroke the underside of his mandibles, her touch soft and gentle, the action intimate and something he had never done with anyone else.

There was nothing for them and he bent his head, the keening a low mournful sound in his chest. He was mourning her, the loss of her. He would have to. There was no future between them, he had known that when it had started and he knew she had know that too. Yet they had come together anyway. They had shared stories, told of their lives, He told her of his life on Palaven and she told him about earth and then of Pluto and the giant heart her window overlooked. They had tangled themselves together so tightly he felt it was nearly impossible to pull them apart and he knew if they tried it would bring a deep aching pain that wouldn't ever stop.

He knew her expressions and lived for her smiles. She had picked up on his own expressions, drawing smiles from him whenever she could. She constantly wanted to be close, to be pressed close to him as she read the book that never failed to make her cry. ‘Because its beautiful, even if it hurts in the end.’ That is what she told him whenever he asked. The precious hard covered red book that smelled of her. She had read it so often, the pages had taken in her scent so much, they smelled of her. The cover and edges were worn and he knew she loved it.

He keened again, lifting his gaze to look a her. A week. Seven days left before he would leave. He found himself wanting to turn back time, wanting to go back to spend more of it with her. He would have carted her off the first night, would have joined her in her bedroom sooner. He wanted more than what he had with her. It wasn’t enough.

His eyes traced her features. It would never be enough.

And it hurt.

_Because it's beautiful, even if it hurts in the end._

He swallowed the keening and moved around the couch, his gaze on her. He crawled into their little blanket nest beside her, he grasped her waist, pulling her towards him. She let out a sigh and turned into his touch, wrapping herself around him as if he had never left. It hurt, a sweet ache within him, a bittersweet truth that what he had was beautiful and felt perfect but it would never be enough.

He carded his fingers through her soft hair, a _lifetime_ would never be enough with her. A part of him knew forever would be the only acceptable amount of time. Endless time to bring her close, tease her skin, memorize every dip, curve, and spot, to make love with her. Something deeper had brought him closer to her, it was love, there was no way it wasn’t. He had found love, a bondmate, trapped in ice on a frozen planet from from where he called home. Someone from a different species his own people were fighting a war with. He had found Sarah, his love, in an impossible situation but then again he knew theirs was an impossible love.

He wanted to fight against it, wanted to turn his back on the world but he couldn’t. The universe had conspired against them from the beginning, bringing them together, showing them a once in a lifetime love, only to tear them apart.

It hurt.

It hurt not because it was love, not because it was impossible, but because it was Sarah. His beautiful, wonderful, kind, and loving Sarah. Loving her was inevitable and the loss of the love isn’t what hurt, the loss of _her_ was. He knew, in that moment, that he would never stop loving her, the ache would never go away because she would always been within him. He had wrapped this hurt inside of his chest, around his heart, and he had done it with a smile on his face, his mandibles flicking out in welcome to this woman he loved with his _everything_.

He would do it again. He looked down at her, pressing his mouth plates to her forehead, trying to mimic what she had done to him so many times before. He flicked out his tongue, tasting her skin, her scent and taste a mixture of him and her, a taste that was perfect. That would fade without him. He knew that. She would stop smelling like him, tasting like him. The sharp lines on her skin he had needed to be there would fade as well. 

The mark he had on her would fade. He wondered if she would find herself a mate among her own species, if they would fall in love and if she would bear children that were just as wonderful as her. He wondered if she would grow to be happy after he left, if her life would be everything she wanted it to be. He wondered if the male she chose would know where to touch her, where to dig in his fingers to get her to gasp his name. He hoped that her future male would love her as much as he did now. He wanted for her what he could never give her.

There was nothing for them outside of these moments.

Nothing.

He keened, pressing his face into her hair and holding her tighter to him, unwilling to let her go, not then, not yet. It hurt, all of it hurt. But he welcomed it because it was beautiful, even though he knew it would hurt in the end.


	12. Chapter 12

**Twelve weeks in**

Sarah woke up to a sob in her throat and the sound of silence. The absence of wind. She wanted to bury her her face in Kaitus' cowl and not come up for air. She wanted to hide inside of him and never leave. She didn’t want it to end but it had.

“The wind has finally stopped.” His voice was soft and he nudged her shoulder with his forehead. Her eyes blurred with tears and she gripped him tighter. She didn’t want to let him go, to say goodbye, but she had to.

There was no way for it to work.

Beautiful, even if it hurts in the end.

She swallowed several times and slowly loosened her grip on him. “You should get your armour ready.” Her voice shook and she didn’t look at him as she slowly pulled away, climbing out of their little nest. The place where they had made love countless times, where they had laughed and joked, where they had told stories, where they had relaxed and sprawled together, where they had clung to each other as they fell asleep within each other’s arms. A place she would be forced to clean up because if she looked at it after he was gone, she would start crying and not be able to stop.

She pulled on her clothes she had hastily discarded last night as they had frantically came together again and again until they were so tired they couldn’t keep their eyes open. Her body still ached, she still felt him on her, _in_ her. She moved over to her monitoring station and closed her eyes. She gave a shaky exhale and started the de-icing process. The buttons were so familiar to her but each one she pressed to start it up, hurt. Long arms wrapped around her from behind and there was a sharp sound from Kaitus that cut through her. The translator didn’t catch it, didn’t translate it but she could understand it all the same. A matching wail rose up in her chest but she shoved it down.

It was beautiful even now that it was over.

She turned in his arms, reaching up to grasp his face. His mandibles twitched against her palms and she kissed him with as much love as she could. She pulled back, holding him tight as she swallowed against the lump in her throat. “We are going to de-ice the outpost. You will hear booming and the building will rock because of the controlled methane explosions that will crack and knock out the ice but it’s okay.” Her voice shook bad but she pushed through it even as tears filled her eyes. “Once the monitoring station lets us know that it’s done. I’m going to go outside and knock off the ice from the comm tower. Then I will contact Beth and we will see if your friend Tiberius made it. If he did we are going to get you to him and then you are going to call your commander.” Her voice cracked and she bit back a sob.

He held her tighter to him, pushing his face into her neck. She gasped for air before pushing him away with all the strength she had. She grabbed his face again, meeting his mournful gaze. “You will call your commander to come get you. You will explain to him that you studied the research here and know the weather patterns and that you don’t have a lot of time to get out. You will explain it to him and then Beth and I will leave you and Tiberius and we will go to the other outpost and wait for you to be g-gone.” Her voice shook and it cracked on the last word and her vision was so blurry with tears she couldn’t see him.

She blinked and the tears fell down her cheeks and she shook. She shook so hard because she loved him so much and it _hurt_. He grasped her face in his own hands, pressing his forehead to her own as that sharp keening cut through her. “We’ll be okay. It will be okay. You are going to go home and I am going to be fine, Kaitus.” He let her face go and pulled her close and held her tight. “I’m going to be fine and you are going to be fine.” She could barely see and she wasn’t even sure if his translator would be able to decipher her words because they shook so badly.

There was a muffled boom and the ground felt like it rocked underneath her. She let his face go and pressed her face into his neck and shook harder. “It was beautiful, Kaitus.” Her voice cracked and his keening cut through her and she muffled her returning wail into the hide of his neck, wrapping her arms around him tightly, not wanting to let him go.

The countdown had started, there was nothing that would stop it. They had been on a clock the minute she had dragged him back to the outpost. “Sarah, you are wonderful and you are kind and I want you be happy.” His voice was low and it shook like hers did as there was another muffled boom and the floor rocked.

She clung to him tightly, closing her eyes as she gasped for air, trying not to sob. "It was worth it, Kaitus. I would do it all over again.” She gasped it out and there was another heavy boom, followed by a cracking that had a bit of light streaming through the window. Even though it hurt, even though it felt like her chest was cracking and that she was exposed and raw and hurting. She would do it again. Even if it meant she would experience the pain again and again, she would keep doing it because it meant she got to be with Kaitus just one more time.

There was another muffle boom and light came through the window fully as the ice burst away from the building. The sun was far away and the light was dim but it was still there. The cold light of a new day, shining on her and Kaitus and their goodbye. The monitoring station beeped and the VI stated the de-icing was complete. She pushed him away, unable to look at him. “I need to get my gear on so I can clear the comm tower.” Her mouth was dry and her heart ached but she moved away from him regardless, even though she wanted to hit her knees and wail out the sorrow she felt.

She put on her undersuit and then her armour, putting each piece on as carefully as she could while she tried to breathe through it, through the loss that was cutting her up inside. She put her helmet on before moving to the door to the decontamination chamber. She pressed several buttons and she waited as the heated steam warmed up the interior of the room. Her breathing shook and she refused to turn to see Kaitus, to look at him because she would beg him to stay, to try and keep him with her. She would try to fight the inevitable.

There was nothing for them.

The door opened and she stepped through, closing it quickly so that the warm inside air didn’t escape. The frost had melted and her hands shook and her stomach clenched as she made her way around the hover sled and opened the main door. Jagged hunks of ice covered the doorway and grabbed her sledge hammer from the corner and she swung it at them, baring her teeth as she broke them and pushed through to the outside world. Her knees nearly buckled but she held back, holding the sledge tightly as she kicked away the large chunks of ice that had flown off the building during the methane explosions of the de-icing.

She swallowed hard and stumbled over to the comm tower. She swung the sledge at it, hitting the base where the metal was exposed from the de-icing. The reverberations hurt and she gasped for air as she screamed in her helmet and slammed the sledge against it again and again. The ice rained down and she hit her knees, letting herself wail. She knew the comms would be up so she allowed herself a second to mourn where Kaitus couldn’t see. She hugged herself and screamed into her helmet, letting out the anguish she felt deep inside of her.

She rocked back and forth and cried for a turian she loved who could never be with her. She cried for the love she had inside of her that would never belong to another person. She cried for the unfairness of letting her love someone that much and then having them taken away. She cried for Kaitus, for leaving him, for hoping he found someone to love, for him to be happy. She cried because she knew it couldn’t be her.

She rocked back and forth, wailing where no one could see her and where the icy landscape could never judge.

It was beautiful, even thought it hurt so damned much.

She managed to gather herself up and sobbed as she stumbled back towards the outpost. She opened the main door and cried as the decontamination chamber went through its cycle and then swallowed it all down as she entered the main space. Kaitus was waiting for her and she stumbled towards him. His hands fumbled with her helmet and he managed to get the latch popped and he twisted it off. He threw it to the ground and grabbed her face and kissed her. It was hard and frantic as he pushed her against the wall, pulling her tight to him. That keening sound was rising up inside of him and the comms crackled alive.

“Outpost Bravo, this is Outpost Gamma. Do you read me?” At Beth’s faint voice that came through Sarah pulled away from the kiss, slamming her head against the wall, liking how it hurt. She looked up at him and even through a sheen of tears, he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. “Outpost Bravo, this is Outpost Gamma. Do you read me?” At the clearer voice, Sarah pushed at Kaitus and he let her go.She walked to the comm station, her legs feeling weak.

She opened the comm link. “Outpost Gamma, this is Outpost Bravo, I read you.” Her voice shook and she wiped at the back of her cheeks with her cold armour. The comms crackled and she swallowed hard, hanging her head as she bared her teeth, the pain a sharp agony through her.

“Your turian make it?” Beth’s voice was faint through the comms and Sarah swallowed hard.

“Yes, did yours?” She could feel Kaitus come up behind her, could feel that even though the goodbye was hard, he wanted his friend to be alive.

“Yes.” At the words Kaitus wrapped an arm around her armoured middle and buried his face into her neck with a low thrum. “We are coming over on Poppy, there is more landing space around Outpost Bravo for any shuttle they will have coming for them.” Beth’s voice cracked and Sarah closed her eyes. What a fucking mess.

“Copy that, Beth.” It came out raspy and wet but Sarah didn’t even bother to hide it. Not if Beth was feeling as she did.

“Do you want me to hail them, Tiberius?” Kaitus’ voice was even and strong and Sarah grabbed the arms he had around her, she wanted to lean into him and let him hold her until the pain went away but knowing she couldn't.

“Copy that, Kaitus. Hail a ship. We have less than twelve hours for pick up.” The other turian’s voice was nice, smooth and rich, the flanging seeming to caress the ones but it was nothing compared to Kaitus’. No one could ever compare to him.

“We will be there in forty minutes, Sarah.” Beth’s voice was so small, it was so unlike her outgoing friend. She could hear the hurt and Sarah wanted to reach for her, wanted to pull her close so they could both wail for what they were losing.

“Copy that.” Sarah reached out and shut off the open comm link. She closed her eyes, ignoring the hot tears that slid down her cheeks from beneath her lashes. “Call them, Kaitus. You don’t have a lot of time.” The words rasped out of her throat and she felt raw and aching. He buried his face into her neck again before letting her go. She moved away, giving him privacy to contact his people.

She moved to the bedroom, looking around the space, realizing it seemed to impersonal and lifeless. She had lived inside the outpost for four years and she had never realized just how much there was no life within the walls. Everything was scientific and based around research. It had been her life and her job but there was no colour, no _soul_ in her surroundings. Her eyes fell to the her hardcover book and she walked over to it, picking it up. She flipped to the last page, doing her best not to damage the pages with her armoured fingers.

‘ _So we will meet again, where the beginning me_ _e_ _ts the end, where we will stare out across the memories and the lives lived. We will meet again, my love, with a new beginning where we will stand as one.’_

She swallowed hard, closing the book before turning and marching out of her bedroom with it. Kaitus was talking low into the comms and she quietly made her way over to his pack. She never touched it, it was his and his alone but she looked over her shoulder at him, she knew he would forgive her, just this once. His back was to her and she quietly opened it up, pushing underneath several things she gently placed the book inside it and then closed it back up. He would take a piece of her when he went, even though she couldn’t have a piece of him in return.

She stood up and moved to the window, staring out over that large heart shaped spot that everyone loved about this little planet. It was icy and inhospitable, her and Beth were the only two people who ever wanted to come study it. There was a pang in her chest when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to stay. Not without Kaitus there with her. She had spent four years on the planet and it wasn’t until Kaitus came that she had made any memories on it.

Tears filled her eyes as the pain of letting him go beat at her. She closed them, not wanting to see anything else. The crackle of the comms stopped and she swallowed hard. “They are coming?” Her voice shook as she asked it but she wanted to know. He didn’t really have enough rations to keep him for the next three months and he would get caught by the Alliance if he didn’t leave in this one small window.

His rough fingers brushed her cheek, wiping away the tears. “They will be here in four hours. They were surprised that we were still alive but they will come.” His voice was low and it was deep and she shivered as she always did. It was a bittersweet feeling for her.

“That’s good, Kaitus. You can go home.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was staring out the window. “I would ask what you are going to do but I don’t think it’s a very good idea.” The less she knew about him and his plans the better. She shook, and she shook hard. She wanted to throw herself at him, wanted to hide inside his arms and pretend there was more for them than this but she couldn’t.

“It’s not.” He grasped her back of her neck and pulled her to his chest. She couldn't feel him through the armour but she let him hold her anyway. He pressed his mouth plates to her forehead, licking at her skin gently as he did so. His very own version of a kiss. “What about you? I suppose you will stay and finish up your research?” His tone was flat and she could tell he was holding something back, something deep in his chest. She understood the feeling and she wished she could do it as well as he did.

She closed her eyes, leaning into him slightly. “No.” It was a whisper and he inhaled sharply at it. “I can’t stay, someone else can take over but I can’t stay.” She didn’t know where she would go, where her life would find her but she would leave. She would miss Beth, would miss the little deadly planet she called home for so many years, but without him it was just cold and hard and lonely. “I will leave, go somewhere new but I will not stay here.” The without you hung unsaid in the air and she figured it was best if she left. If she stayed, temptation to come see her might win out on his end. If she left, if he didn’t know where she would go, then it was safer.

“Somewhere warmer?” There was a faint bit of amusement to his voice and she gave a wet chuckle.

“Yah, that would be nice.” She didn’t know what she would do, where she would go. Everything seemed vast and lonely without him at her side. She felt rudderless and broken inside. She knew it would hurt, she did, but the pain of heartbreak was something you could never really prepare for.

They stood close, not saying another word and waited. Each beat of her heart hurt, brought a new wave of pain because it was that much closer to when she would leave him. The seconds turned into minutes and minutes dragged on as they breathed each other in, doing their best to remember everything they had done in their little pocket of the world.

Sarah fought back a sob as she heard the decontamination chamber start up. She shook and clamped her jaws together tightly. She looked up at Kaitus, taking his face, the vivid red of his colony marks, his dark plates, his beautiful eyes. She took him all in and then she kissed him, once more, one last time, because she knew that it was now or never. He bunched his hand in her hair, pulling her close to him, tight to his body. He held her with an edge of longing and it sent a whip of pain straight through her.

“There will only be you, Kaitus. Just you.” She whispered it against his mouth before pushing away from him. She stumbled to her helmet and grabbed it off the floor. She shoved it on, sealing it to the rest of her armour. She opened the decontamination chamber and stopped as she saw Beth clinging to a grey plated turian that must have been Tiberius, her forehead pressed to his own. There was agony in the lines of her body and Sarah’s breath stuttered in her chest as she looked at her friend. “We need to go.” She moved into the room and reached for her friend. Beth and Tiberus looked like they wanted to cling more, to hold on just a bit longer but Sarah knew that they would let go.

Beth stepped back and Tiberius looked at her, there was so much love in his green eyes as he reached up and brushed his knuckles against Beth’s dark skin. “And in this chaos, we will find each other again. We will hold hands and watch as the world burns down around us.” His voice was low and Beth shook, her dark eyes wet before she grabbed her helmet, putting it on. “I will never forget you, Beth Hawgrave. _Never_.” Tiberius moved away, he nodded at Sarah and moved by her and out the door to the decontamination chamber.

The second the door closed Sarah jumped for Beth as she let out a muffled wail, her legs collapsing underneath her. Her pain beat at Sarah just as her own did. “We need to go, Beth. We need to go.” She said it as gently as she could through the thickness encasing her throat. She helped Beth secure her helmet before they were out of Outpost Bravo and sitting in Poppy, driving towards Outpost Gamma.

There was nothing but silence over the drive. They said nothing as the outpost came into view, they said nothing as Poppy was parked in the covered unit. Silence followed them into the decontamination chamber and through the hissing steam. It lasted until they pulled their helmets off and Beth hit her knees with a keening wail. Sarah found herself kneeling beside her friend, sobbing out her own hurt and pain.

“I loved him so much!” Beth threw her arms around Sarah, holding her tight and Sarah hugged her friend back just as tightly. “It hurts! It hurts so bad, Sarah!” She let out a long and drawn out wail that was mirrored inside of Sarah but she swallowed down her hurt, got her sobbing friend to her feet and got her inside the outpost. She didn’t take off her armour, didn’t help Beth take off her own.

She got down in front of her friend and grasped her face. “We are in this together. _Together_.” She searched Beth’s face, and grasped it tightly in her hands. “We can’t stay, neither of us because I loved mine too. No one can know but we are in this together.” Her voice shook and Beth gave gasping inhales, fighting through the agony that was clearly painted on her face. “We will leave this behind. The two of us against everyone else.” She let her face go to grab her hands, securing her ring finger and pinky with Beth's. She lifted them, looking at her friend who was breaking like she was. " _Together_." They would stick together and they would make it out the other side. Beth nodded and Sarah dropped her hands and stumbled to her feet.

She set her jaw and made her way to the comm station. She opened up the link to the long rage communicator. “Base Hawking, this is Outpost Gamma. Do you read me?” She kept her voice tight and even and there was a faint crackle to the comms.

“This is Base Hawking, we read you.” At the reply, Sarah looked to where Beth sat on the floor, her face in her hands. She wanted to join her, to mourn with her but she knew she had to make the preparations.

She swallowed hard, “Base Hawking, get us off this fucking planet.”


	13. Chapter 13

Kaitus held himself together as he watched his Sarah leave. He held it together as Tiberius came in, his subvocals keening sharp and hard. He held it together as their rescue shuttle landed and they got on. He held it together as they left the little planet he was leaving his heart on. He held it together as they gave their report of what happened to Commander Oraka. He held it together as Commander Oraka let him and Tiberius know that the potential war with the humans had stopped, it had ended two months prior, and that they would be put on leave. He held it together until he and Tiberius reached their shared apartment on the Citadel. His friend had grabbed a bottle of liquor from the cupboard and headed to his room, his subvocals crying out the loss he felt.

He held it together until he went to his room and opened his pack. It smelled like her, her scent hit him like a punch to the gut and he pulled out his things, a faint keening growing in him, but then she broke him. His beautiful, wonderful Sarah broke him. And she broke him with a book.

He held the book she had loved in his palms, her scent radiating off of the cover and the pages. He held a piece of her in his hands and she broke him. He opened it, careful of the pages and he looked at the last one.

‘ _So we will meet again, where the beginning me_ _e_ _ts the end, where we will stare out across the memories and the lives lived. We will meet again, my love, with a new beginning where we will stand as one.’_

The words cracked him down the middle. It didn’t matter what the story was about. She had been crying not over the characters in the book but because they represented them. She had cried, shed tears, because she knew how it would end, just as he would but she had given him a piece of herself. He had left her nothing with a sharp ache and no words of goodbye.

His Sarah, broke him with a book and he didn’t know if he could ever put himself together again.


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be fully honest with yall, the last chapter was supposed to be the end and then my brain went nope! and my heart demanded they get a happy ending. So I hope you like it!

**Thirty years later**

“Can’t you just leave me be, Severaka?” Tiberius wasn’t drunk yet, but Kaitus knew he was getting there.

“You know I can’t.” The words were said low and his friend stared at him for a moment, looking as run down and broken as he had since they had left Pluto thirty years ago. The pain that followed the remembrance was a welcome and familiar ache in Kaitus’ chest. “General Oraka wants us to be his guards at a fancy event, as a favour for him.” When his old commander had called and asked for him and Tiberius to act as his personal guards for the evening, it had been within Kiatus to say no, to turn him down but something in his old commander’s face told him to say yes. So he had.

It was some scientific awards event. It was about recognizing notable contributors to the field of science that brought breakthrough research to the benefit the entire galaxy, so do it had been explained to him. It promised to be boring and stuffy and Kaitus knew it was best for him to get Tiberius out of the apartment. He was drinking far too much and Kaitus understood why, he did. The aching pain in his own chest could be numbed by alcohol but he knew it was a band-aid. The only fix to their problems did not live on the Citadel or anywhere that he knew.

His Sarah was the only person who could possibly fix the ache that had lived within him for the last thirty years and he didn’t know where to find her to even try to begin to fix it. Thirty years was a long time away from each other. They spent three months together, such a short amount of time compared to the rest of the time they spent apart but a part of him wondered about her constantly. His life had done him well but it never stopped the empty spot he felt where Sarah should have stood.

“I don’t want to go.” Tiberius muttered it into his glass as he downed the rest of it. Kaitus grabbed his friend's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. His friend had never truly been the same since Pluto and Kaitus knew he had never been the same either. They had lost something important when they left that frozen wasteland.

“We will go, we will do what needs to be done, and then I will take you to the closest bar and we will drink until we can’t stand.” He didn’t much want to drink but Tiberius was his friend, the only one who understood the pain that lingered deep within his chest. Tiberius hadn’t spoken of it at first and neither did Kaitus. They ran missions, went through the motions, and Tiberius seemed to grow more and more reckless, it had bordered on suicidal at time.

After one incident that nearly left his friend dead Kaitus had sat at his bedside and when his friend opened his eyes, Kaitus had grabbed his hand and told him about Sarah. About how much he loved her and how much he missed her and how much it hurt. He poured his heart out to his friend and Tiberius had crumbled. He had keened and mourned with him and then he told Kaitus about his Beth, about how she was so lovely and sweet and kind. He told him about how she had nursed him back to health, helped heal his wounds sustained from where the metal had pierced his armour. He told him about he loved her so much that he couldn’t help but recite to her love poems from their home planet and how he loved her enough he had started to write her his own.

He had told him how much it hurt without her, how his life felt too empty, too cold, too hostile. He told Kaitus he didn’t want to continue living if it meant he couldn’t live with her. Kaitus had gripped his friend’s hand tightly and told him that as long as his Beth was alive and somewhere in the galaxy it was a disservice to her to try and find a way out. Tiberius had keened out that it wasn’t fair and Kaitus had agreed. It hadn’t been fair, not one bit.

“I can do that right here.” Tiberius muttered it into his glass and Kaitus squeezed his shoulder once more before grabbing the glass and pulling it out of his reach.

“We will go, Tiberius.” That was the end of it. They would go and they would do this favour for their commander who hadn’t allowed their failed mission to be a black mark on their record. He had took what they said at face value, and didn’t question too deeply about what happened on the frozen planet. He had done them a great favour by keeping it quiet, by not trying to hear the details that their stories didn’t tell.

They had been stuck together in a small science outpost. There had been no humans and he had helped Tiberius heal and they had studied the research left and were able to work controls that were alien to them to go through processes that they didn’t understand, to work a comm station that was as alien as the icy landscape. So many holes in their story that they couldn’t give answers for and Oraka hadn’t asked a single question. He had simply looked at them both and then nodded his acceptance without any questions.

They owed him for that.

Kaitus grabbed his friend around the arm and pulled him to his feet. “You should shower and then we need to get dressed.” They needed to look presentable. Tiberius grumbled but allowed Kaitus to walk him to the bathroom. He stepped inside and Kaitus didn’t leave the door until he heard the shower start. Satisfied his friend would do as needed, he headed to his own room to get changed.

He stood in the middle of his room, staring at it all but not really taking it in. He had lived, for thirty years he had lived but what was the meaning of that life if it hadn’t had her in it? He had tried hard to not dwell on it, on her. She was always there in his mind but if he looked too closely, he would be caught in a cycle of mourning. Much like Tiberius was. They had lost their bondmates, there was no one else for him in his life. He knew that. He wondered if Sarah had found someone for herself, if she had a husband who gave her children, if her life was lived to the fullest. It hurt to hope that she had but he couldn’t bare the thought of her feeling like he did and had over the last thirty years.

He closed his eyes and exhaled. He would push on, like he did every time he remembered her. They had nothing but that little outpost and the memories that had been made but it didn’t diminish the love he had for her. He had traded three months with her for a lifetime without her and like her shaking words to him that last day, it was worth it and he would do it all over again.

_It was beautiful, Kaitus._

The words pulled up the memory of her voice and her tears and how hard she had clung to him, as if she had been trying to pull herself inside of him.

It had been beautiful, even though it had hurt.

His eyes fell to the hardcover red book that she had left him. He cherished it, kept it close. At first he had refused to touch it, not wanting to mar her scent that had clung to the pages but as the years without her grew longer, the scent had started to fade all on its own. He had taken to reading it, spending his time within the pages that had smelled of her. He knew in the end his own scent would cover her own but there were a few wonderful and painful months where his scent had mixed with hers and he was reminded all over again of just what he had lost.

He loved that little book, not because of what it contained but because it was a part of her. He read it and could only see himself and Sarah and those three short months. It kept the memories alive for him. It was beautiful, even though it hurt in the end. He tore his gaze from it and moved to his closet, grabbing his black light armour. It was close enough to civvies that no one would question it but it was armoured enough to shield against bullets. Not that he expected anything to happen at the awards ceremony on the Citadel but he knew he would feel more comfortable in them regardless.

He got dressed slowly, his old war wounds aching slightly. He felt like he wasn’t a young turian anymore, he was older. He could live to be a hundred and fifty and he had just passed his fifty-eighth. He was in his prime but the years without Sarah drug on and he felt like he had lived a thousand. He had retired from the military, his social tier steady through his life and his career, Tiberius’ as well. They had done nothing ground breaking or worth notice He hadn’t wanted to be noticed, not really. He was content where he had ended up. He was with his friend, the only one who knew the pain he felt and it was them against the rest of the universe.

He grabbed his standard issue pistol and fit it to the mag lock on his back. Going through the motions, always going through the motions. His family had always asked him why he didn’t date, why he hadn’t been out forming connections to find a proper bondmate. He couldn’t tell them why, couldn’t tell them that he had left his bondmate on a frozen planet in the sol system thirty years ago. They wouldn’t understand, no one but Tiberius did. So he went through the motions, meeting the females they sent his way, singular dates that never went anywhere, that he _knew_ would never go anywhere. He was kind, courteous, and uninterested. He understood why they never stuck around and didn't blame them. He found when it came to listening to his family to settle down and start a family of his own, he was not a very good turian.

He moved into the main room of the apartment and Tiberius was waiting, his own black light armour on, his pistol on his back. He nodded at Kaitus, looking more refreshed and less broken than he normally did. “I will do this and you will be paying for the drinks.” Kaitus gave a nod at that and they left the apartment, making their way down to the ground floor where they could grab a rapid transit shuttle to the convention center where the event was being held.

They got into the shuttle and sat in their seats, not saying a words as Kaitus put in the location they needed to do. He sat back in his seat, his mandibles twitching slightly as he looked at the millions of lights of the Citadel. It was a charming and fucking lonely. There was a faint keen from Tiberius that had Kaitus reaching over and grasping his friend’s forearm, trying to show him he was there, that he wasn’t alone.

“She would have loved to see the Citadel.” His voice shook as he looked out he windows. “I look out here and every day I can imagine how she would have reacted. She would have lit up, would have glowed.” He lowered his head, the keening from his subvocals sharp and painful. “I still write her poetry. I can’t stop because I want to be able to read it to her one day but I know I can’t.” That keening grew and Kaitus looked over at his friend, taking in the lines of agony he had on his body and could do nothing but squeeze his forearm gently.

“I imagine it as well.” He could see Sarah’s face as she arrived, staring out into the Citadel and the nebula she rested it. She would have glowed, her eyes sparkling as she took it all in. “She would have loved it.” His beautiful and curious Sarah. She would have wanted to learn everything she could about it, doing her best to drive everyone crazy with her questions. The thought made a bittersweet feeling rise up within him. “Together, Tiberius. We are in this together.” He gave his friend’s arm one last squeeze and then let go. Tiberius straightened, his keening being smothered underneath a facade they both carried.

Their shuttle landed in front of the convention center and both males left he shuttle, letting it fly off. General Oraka was standing there, waiting for them. “Tercolus, Severaka. It is good to see you.” He nodded to them both and Kaitus gave him a stiff nod, knowing Tiberius was doing the same. “I am glad you decided to come. It is certain to be a somewhat interesting evening.” His subvocals trilled a noise that sounded like amusement but Kaitus wasn’t sure.

He turned and started to walk towards the building and Kaitus and Tiberius fell into step behind him. He had certainly cleaned up. The last Kaitus had heard, the turian had been drunk in Chora’s Den, mourning the loss of his own female. Not that he ever had her, the Consort didn’t belong to just one man or woman. “I don’t know if you did any research on this ceremony beyond what I told you but it is certainly grand but with the Alliance and the Hierarchy competing to show each other up, it is to be expected.” He said it casually and Kaitus blinked slightly at that.

“Why the competition?” Tiberius asked it, his voice low but curious.

Oraka’s amusement grew and thrummed in his subvocals. “Ahhh because the lovely doctors that are being honoured have been instrumental in advancing parts of the Hierarchy within expansion and research. Their data and their theories on cold world habitation and how to better create functional motors and armour have been invaluable to us. The Alliance is not willing to be outdone because they are human and therefor the Alliance needs to parade them about as if they are nothing but fancy... how would the humans say it? Ah yes. _Pets_.” The turian gave a low chuckle as they entered the building. “The Hierarchy is honouring them because they deserved to be honoured. The Alliance is honouring them because the refuse to be outdone. There would be no honouring otherwise.” The general seemed more than amused by that and Kaitus shook his head.

Even after thirty years they still had troubles getting along. They were no longer openly hostile and the hatred wasn’t as out in the open but the stiffness was still there, the animosity, while hidden, still lingered. Even if it was simply they couldn’t let the turians honour some researchers if they hadn’t as well. The term pissing match came from humans and Kaitus had to agree that was basically what it was. They had gone from shooting at each other to trying to out do each other. He figured that was a step up at least.

“Humanity seems to have that issue, I have found. They don’t have an appreciation for the... _finer_ points in life.” The General looked pointedly at a human female dressed in dark blue, the gown plunging in the front and back, exposing a vast amount of her skin. The fabric draping down her body in artistic folds, pulling tight at the waist with a shimmering belt, accentuating the curve. The human female’s head tilted as she caught sight of the group of them, her neck bared and Kaitus nearly choked at the rumble of appreciation Oraka gave at the sight before he gave her a low head bow. “Good evening.” He pulled his hands behind his back and the human female smiled at him, returning the nod and a murmured the greeting back to him.

Kaitus looked at Tiverius his eyes wide. His friend returned the look right as Oraka continued to walk. He hadn’t been expecting that, he had _not_ been expecting that. “Human women are their own unique beauty, are they not?” His tone was conversational and Kaitus had no fucking clue how to respond to it. “They like baring their necks I have found, drawing their fringes up and exposing them. Some even adorn them with jewels, quite eye catching. You would think for a species with no plates that they would try to protect their necks instead of baring them for all to see.” Oraka continued to talk as they started walking through more crowds.

“However it is quite fetching. Certainly eye catching to say the least.” There was that rumble of appreciation again that had Kiatus trading looks with Tiberius. Had they been so far gone from general society, so isolated, that they had _missed_ something? “Of course the military types cover up their necks but the civilians, the females especially, they certainly know how to show off their beauty to its _best_ advantage. It’s an utter shame the human males don’t even notice.” Orake gave a faint chuckle at that and they entered a large hall and Oraka gestured. “We sit over here.” He lead them to a table and Kaitus sat when Oraka did.

“Sir-”

Oraka waved him off, “Call me Oraka or Septimus. You aren’t military anymore and I like to think we are past such formalities. That goes for you as well, Tercolus.” The older general leaned back in his chair, his arm resting along the back of it.

“Oraka, why are you here?” It wasn’t a military event and there didn’t seem to be much reason for him to be there. Kaitus knew he had connections but enough to be invited to such a pissing match? Perhaps the Hierarchy was devolving into the outdoing as well.

“Oh, I know the ladies being honoured here. I met them about two years ago, we keep in contact. Very smart and intelligent they are, great company. They invited me, said they wanted to share a bit of... _sentimentality_.” His voice turned low and he gave Kaitus and Tiberius an unreadable look that they couldn’t even begin to decipher. “I wasn’t about to turn them down when they asked. They deserve the honour even if they feel it was stuffy and pretentious when they told me about it.” He waved his hand slightly at the formal area that seemed to be made up as if there were a top tier military ball being held rather than just a simple awards ceremony.

“Do they have much contact with the Hierarchy?” Kaitus found it so odd that there would be such fanfare over two humans but if they had met Oraka, then they had some contact with the Hierarchy. That and the Hierarchy was honouring them with their own awards ceremony, there had to be some form of connection there.

“Oh yes, it drives the Alliance insane, or so the doctors have told me. They have actually met Primarch Fedorian while they were on Tevura developing their subzero armours. I was told they completely charmed him.” Oraka flagged down a server and took a drink from the tray. Kaitus glanced at Tiberius and they both shared a confused look over the news. “Granted they are _very_ charming females, if a bit aloof, but what turian doesn’t find that particular trait charming?” He took a long drink. “I’ve told them they would have made particularly great turians in their own rights.” The older turian chuckled. “They find that endlessly amusing for some reason.”

He set his glass on the table and Kaitus didn’t know what to really say. “So they are being honoured for their research that the Primarch himself has seen?” Kaitus tilted his head as he looked at his old commander. That was a first, not the honouring of individuals who had break through research, but the honouring a species outside of turians was.

“There wasn’t going to be an awards ceremony at all until it was learned that humanity wasn’t going to honour them at all for their work. That apparently didn’t sit right with Primarch Fedorian.” Oraka leaned against the table, his voice lowering. “Apparently for the humans, their research into the subzero armour was too geared towards turians and was considered damn near traitorous.” He shook his head and Kaitus was thrown about that. Were the humans so petty? “Ridiculous, I know. They used our species as a base for a lot of of their schematics, something about how we, biologically, do not take to cold well and if they could make us functional and comfortable in the armour in subzero temperatures, then the rest of the galactic species would be easier to build on for their own schematics.” It had merit, he knew it did. So it didn’t sit right with him that humanity would have let them sit without any recognition simply because they had based their research on turian biology.

“You would think the humans would be grateful that one of their own would be working for the benefit for the entire galaxy, not just themselves. The doctors sound like they have done well to take a step to show that humanity isn’t as selfish as they seem to be.” Tiberius’ voice had a bite to it that matched one that had rose up in Kaitus.

“I agree, and so did Primarch Fedorian, which is why he had this ceremony set up. If the humans aren’t going to honour the researchers, the Hierarchy will.” Oraka leaned in a bit more. “I heard that Primarch Fedorian was going to be awarding them _personally_. That is why security is going to be so tight. He wanted to ensure they were going to be honoured right.” That was news and that made the night seemed a bit more dangerous. There was no telling how things would go with the Primarch himself making an appearance. Not a lot dangerous but it gave an edge he wasn't expecting. “From what they told me, that was the only reason they were showing up at all. If the Primarch hadn’t asked them to come, they never wouldn't want to show up.” Oraka shook his head lightly. “Those two should get out more, live a little. They are always isolating themselves, just like you two.” He pointed between them before grabbing his glass and taking a drink.

Kaitus let out a sigh and looked at Tiberius. He was curious, he was, but the night was going to be boring to all hell if the two species were going to try to out do each other. Even with the Primarch showing up himself, it would be boring.

“See, I don’t get it.” A human male dressed in a rather stiff looking suit sat at the table beside them, followed by several others and a woman in a black dress, her hair silver. “Their research is _clearly_ based on Gregovich’s Theory of Exponential Heat Exchange.” Kaitus turned his head, listening in. “Without his basis, their research would have gotten them nowhere. If anything, this awards ceremony should be honouring him. He’s _still_ alive.” The male made a sound of disgust.

“Yah but Gregovich himself stated that their work went far and beyond what he did. He said, and I quote. ‘ _Their research took my own, ripped it to shreds, and built on its rightfully wrong corpse_.’ so Gregovich has said that their research out performs his and basically made his defunct.” The woman said it low and the man scoffed.

“If not Gregovich, what about Himdahl’s research? Or Danielson’s? Or a myriad of other scientists who did it first. They are essentially riding on the coattails of others. They don’t deserve the recognition.” There was an edge of spite to his voice that had Kaitus turning to watch him.

The woman lifted her chin, “Are you saying that because you believe it or because they women and you personally don't like them?” Her voice was sharp and Kaitus was instantly more intrigued by the turn of conversation. It seemed Oraka had a bit of a point.

The man waved her off with a sound of disgust. “Don’t bring that political bullshit into it. You and I both know Himdahl’s research was-”

“Was barely coherent and made no rational sense in the laws of thermodynamics!” The woman narrowed her eyes at the man and the others at the table rolled their eyes slightly, as if to say ‘here we go again’.

The man in the stiff suit leaned forward, pointing at her. “ _Far superior._ He's a genius and I won’t have him derided by someone who can't possibly understand his work.” He shook his head sharply, his mouth twisting with disgust. “Those two are pale copy cats that the dinosaurs like because they flash their necks like an Asari stripper flashes her tits.” At the words, all three of the turians stiffened. That wasn’t just uncalled for but grossly _wrong_. Kaitus couldn’t even disguise his low rumble of anger her got from that.

The woman’s eyes flashed with anger. “That is _uncalled_ for, Brice, and uncouth! They are brilliant scientific minds with forty research papers published in thousands of reputable journals. Even the asari matriarchs have published their works and commended them on it!” The woman’s voice rose and Kaitus had to agree. That had been a low blow and all kinds of wrong.

The man leaned forward on the table. “And they did it while flashing their necks at the turians. Do you think they would have gotten their funding any other way?” That was spiteful and cruel, even Kaitus could see that.

Oraka stood up, his chair scraping across the floor loudly as he did so, catching attention. “See that’s the issue with you human males. You can never give credit when it is one of your females who discover something. There always has to be some mediocre male trying to downplay their accomplishments by outright implying that they _prostitute themselves_ to get where they are. It’s _disgraceful_.” He made his way to the man and Kaitus stood up as well and he was aware that Tiberius had followed suit. “On your feet.” He gave a rumble of anger and gestured to the man.

The man made a face of disgust, “Excuse me, do you know-”

“I don’t care who you are. Who I am is security. I am sure the lovely Ms. Copeland sitting here, and those brilliant doctors, do not want you tarnishing their evening. So you and I are going to take a nice calm walk out of the building where you are going to get into a shuttle and you are going to go back to where you belong.” Oraka’s voice was calm and even and Kaitus moved closer to him as the man sputtered. “Let’s not embarrass ourselves. Come on, on your feet.” He pulled his hands behind his back and the man looked around the table as if looking for support but no one else would meet his gaze.

The woman narrowed her eyes at him. “You are embarrassing us, Brice. I suggest you take the kind turian's offer and leave quietly and without a fuss.” She turned her face from his, giving him her cheek and the man sputtered but got to his feet.

Kaitus went to move with Oraka and the older turian held out his hand. "I’ll be fine. You two stay here.” With that Oraka and the other man walked off. Kaitus looked as Tiberius and nodded at him. They both sat down once more, waiting for Oraka to come back.

The older woman got to her feet, threw a nasty look at all of the others at her table before she gracefully moved over to their table. "I know I don’t have an invitation to sit here but do you mind? My last table’s company was poor.” She gave them each a soft smile and Kaitus stood up, pulling out a chair for her with a bow of his head. “Oh thank you, such a gentleman.” She sat down and he pushed her chair in gently. “My name is Grace Copeland, I’m a geneticist, I actually helped work on developing the levo-dextro allergy vaccine.” She smiled at them both and Kaitus bowed his head.

“We are here on security detail.” Tiberius said it evenly and the woman smiled. Humans always had the sweetest of smiles, the females at least. It left a pang in his carapace. His Sarah's smiles were a thing of pure beauty. The world felt right and okay when she smiled.

“Please excuse Brice’s behaviour. He feels stilted because he had worked on Tevura with them and he had to be relocated at their suggestion.” She made a slight face at that. “Sour grapes and all that, he got a bit too personal with the doctors. He has been blacklisted from a lot of research projects since they put in their suggestion for him to leave. He still lives in the dark ages where they believe women should be nothing but ornamentation for men. So I am glad that he was interrupted by the General. I don’t even know why he was invited. Someone in the Alliance probably.” She seemed to be rambling but Kaitus didn’t mind.

“I do hope you weren’t offended by what he was saying, about the neck thing.” Her own hand went up to touch her neck and Kaitus turned his head to look at her, suddenly _very_ curious. The older woman flushed slightly and then gave a small smirk. “It’s just you turians are so gallant and courteous. Even if you dislike us, you never show you do. You are reserved and aloof, but you are gentlemen. So it didn’t take long for some of us women to discover you really do like the look of our necks.” She gave a small and almost girlish giggle. “By the time you hit forty, you become invisible to most men and when we learned that turian men didn’t much care for age, it kind of, you know... opened a new beginning for some of us.” She glanced between the two of them and Kaitus was floored at the admission.

She gave a small shrug, her silver hair swirling around her face. “Some of the looks I get from turian males I haven’t gotten from human males since I was in my twenties. You get grey hair and you can practically see human men writing you off as defunct. The attention we get from the turians is rather nice so we... we _flaunt_ it a little bit.” She gave another almost girlish giggle and Kaitus found himself smirking slightly, his mandible flexing out slightly at how _young_ she looked talking about it. Her cheek flushed and her eyes sparkled with amusement and enjoyment. She gave them each a look. “What Brice said wasn’t exactly wrong, he is just upset, a lot of men are, that we are finding enjoyment and flirting with people who see us after our hair turns grey and we get wrinkles.” She gave a small sigh at that.

“What do you mean he isn’t wrong?” Tiberius asked is slowly, his forehead plates pulling into a frown.

“Oh, what I mean is if you are at a function where there are humans and turians, such as this one.” She gestured around and Kaitus looked around the large room, seeing the various species milling about and finding their tables. “The woman who keep their hair up, their necks bared without any jewellery and sometimes, if they want to be very open about it, their neck, shoulders, and their collarbones will be on display, if you see it, they are signalling their interest.” If Kaitus had taken a drink he knew he would have spewed it over the table. “Like watch this.” She gestured them close and pointed across the room to where a woman in a green dress was holding a long stemmed glass, her attention on the turian she was talking with.

“She will signal her interest with one single move and she will repeat it to gauge his level of interest.” Ms Copeland’s voice was hushed and Kaitus watched the interaction with curiosity and then the woman tilted her head, lifting her chin just a fraction. It was a barely noticeable baring of her neck but Kaitus knew the turian noticed because his back straightened and he tilted his own head, staring down at it. “ _Right there_. That move right there. She will do it to gauge how interested he is in her. If she catches his interest, like I believe she has.” The woman lifted her glass, trailing it down the side of her neck gently and the turian leaned closer to her, his own neck slightly bared in a blatant return of interest. “ _That_ move, right there, will seal the deal and who knows what they decide to do with it but it is there. We have come a long way from where we first started, haven't we?” She gave a small giggle and Kaitus turned to look at her.

“Why tell us?” Kaitus asked her, the question low. I didn’t make any sense why she would tell anyone that. The animosity was still there, the hatred didn’t simply go away. That foul mouthed human male had shown that much.

She shrugged with another smirk. “I tell _everyone_ .” Her smirk grew into a grin. “I like the idea of rubbing it in that human men can’t compete, that they _don’t_. They have spent thousands of years regaling us to the roll of second class citizens and we have come out into the universe and learned there is more to life than to be stuck with them. So we learned and we adapted and we developed a simple code to get what we wanted. As we have always historically done. gestures with books, with fans, or now with a subtle tilting of our chin." She shrugged, "Human males can fight and they can whine and they can struggle but unless they change, they won’t get anywhere. As long as they act as they have, there will be women who flutter their eyelashes at salarians, bare their necks to turians, and dance with asari. Why? Because being _loved_ is better than being accepted.” She gave them both a smile and she turned in her seat and Kaitus watched as she tilted her head, baring her neck fully, her silver hair floating around her as she gave him a wink.

“Ms Copeland, _darling_ , I did not know you would be here. I would have shown you around, introduced you to some of my colleagues.” At the deep voice and the thrum of appreciation that came from the approaching turian, Kaitus turned to look. The older male didn’t spare him or Tiberius a glance, his amber eyes were intent on the woman and once he was close, he held out a hand.

She set her own in it gracefully and he bowed, pressing his mouth plates to the back of it in move not usually seen outside of humans. “Brutus, how lovely to see you.” Her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkled as she looked at him like he was the only thing she could see.

“You are lovely as always, Grace. Would you like to accompany me to get a drink?” His mandibles fluttered in a small smile and she brought her free hand to her throat, trailing her fingertips along the side of it, bringing his attention straight to it. “I have some colleagues I would _love_ to introduce you to.” He let out a bass purr before she grinned, her hand retreating from her neck.

“I would _love_ too.” With that she let him help her out of the chair. He tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow as he bent his head low, talking to her as he walked her off.

Tiberius nearly leaned across the table towards him. “So just _what_ have we missed?” There was an edge to his voice and Kaitus blinked.

“A fucking lot it seems.” He looked around and now that the older woman had pointed it out, he could see what she meant. There weren’t a lot of them but those that were there, were apparent. The women were subtle about it and he almost appreciated how closely the subtelty was to their own courtship rules. The subtle tilt of their head, the faint baring of their necks to seek out interest and from what he could see, there _was_ interest. He blinked as he spotted a human female doing the slight neck baring to a female turian and the female turian responded in kind. They had missed more than he would have expected.

“Do you think...” Tiberius’ voice trailed off but the hope was there all the same and Kaitus had no idea how to respond to it and anything he would have said was lost as Oraka came back to the table.

“Sorry about that, I met the ladies of the evening outside. They look stunning and they are nervous. They don’t like this much attention. I talked them through it, so it will be fine.” He sat back in his seat before he look at them. “Did you make any new friends?” He glanced between the two of him.

“Ms Grace Cope-”

“Ms _Copeland_? You actually spoke to her and Brutus Callistus didn’t just whisk her away before the introductions were over?” There was a heavy amount of amusement to Oraka’s voice. “She is one hilarious woman if you can get her going but that male is like a varren with a carcass with her.” He shook his head, his mandibles flicking out into a smirk. “But I mean if chasing her gives him exercise then good for him.”

Kaitus leaned towards the older turian. “So just when did that stopped being frowned upon and seen as deviant?” How had he not noticed that it was there? That the attitudes of society had changed that much?

“When we learned what they could do with their tongues.” At the words Tiberius let out a squawk that Kaitus felt in his own throat. “I’m _kidding_.” Oraka laughed at that before waving them off. “Ever since that first human Spectre, Shepard, got with Vakarian’s boy, Garrus, four years ago. They weren’t shy about flaunting their relationship and after a while and several threats of bodily harm to people who took offence, it was just easier to live and let live.” Oraka shifted in his seat, leaning against the table. “It’s not something you will see in the upper tiers but you won’t be demoted or negatively harmed by engaging it in. A person’s personal life is not indicative to how well they do a job. Sure there will be some old guard turians and humans who will call you all sorts of names but when it comes to love and affection? I don’t think anyone participating cares all that much.” He shrugged slightly.

“From what I here, the humans are having the most trouble with it. Not the females, a lot of them are surprisingly okay with it but the males are... well they aren’t taking to it quite as well. Your general rabble rousing and hurled insults. Childish behaviours if you ask me. They can bed as many asari as they want but the moment a human woman bares her neck for a turian, suddenly the world is going to end and its fire and brimstone.” He let out a scoff at that. However Kaitus was thinking it over in his his head, eyes flicking back and forth. There was no longer nothing, there was a chance at _something_.

Something akin to hope filled him, making the pain feel that much more bittersweet. There was _something_ waiting for them. He fought the urge to get out of his seat and head out to try and track his Sarah down. There was something. There could be _something_. He glanced at Tiberius and the male had the same expression on his own face.

“Oh, we are starting.” Oraka tilted his head as the lights dimmed, the stage being lit up.

Primarch Fedorian walked up to the podium and nodded his head at the crowd. “Thank you all for gathering here together to help us honour two very intelligent and tremendous women.” There was small round of applause that he waited to die down before he shifted on his feet, his hands behind his back. “I meet these two doctors on Tevura, they were perfecting their schematics and prototypes for the first ever set of subzero armour that a turian could wear comfortably and where they wouldn’t feel the need to complain endlessly about the cold.” There were a low thrum of amusement from the various turians in the crowds. “I even got to wear the armour for myself and was astounded at just how much thought and care they had placed into the designs to ensure that it was not only functional in the subzero temperatures, but was so comfortable to wear that you forgot you were on a planet that was minus 275 degrees Celsius.”

“These women put their all into ensuring that any turian sent out into the cold to explore or research these subzero planets would be able to do it with ease and most of all safety.” His tone was serious and even. “Despite some... misgivings of others who believed their basis in using turians for their research on these topics was unseemly, their research has now been applied to _all_ species in the galaxy. Their research and designs have not just benefited turians but the galaxy as a whole.” His words echoed slightly and Oraka gave a small chuckle at the dig to the Alliance. “I applaud them for their steadfast desire to work towards the betterment of the galactic community. I applaud them for not just working through the differences our species have had in the past but working in spite of them. I have never met two more warm and welcoming individuals as the two we honour tonight.” The Primarch gave a small grin.

“I know I am not the only person who has said this but these two would have made great turians if they had a chance.” There was some more amusement from the turians and sporadic laughter from the humans in the crowd. “They are steadfast and loyal. They are smart and _any_ species should be _honoured_ to have brought them into the galactic community.” There was another dig that had Kaitus' mandible flicking out slightly in amusement. “So from their small start on a tiny planet in the Sol system named Pluto, to intergalactic research that will save countless lives.” At the words Kaitus stiffened and it felt like something had gone wrong with his translator. “Give your thanks to Doctor Sarah Watkins and Doctor Bethany Hawgrave.” Primarch Fedorian held out his hand and Katius’ heart slammed in his chest.

There was his Sarah as she walked up the stairs to the stage. She was dressed in a floor length gown, in a vivid red that he knew came extremely close to matching his colony markings. The sleeves of her dress were see through and went to her wrists but what made his mouth go dry was the face that her neck, shoulders, and collar bones were all bare. The red made her look even paler but in a way that had him wishing to put his hands against her skin to see the vivid contrast once more.

He hadn’t seen her in years and she still looked as magnificent and beautiful as she had the day they had separated. Her hair was up in an elaborate up do and she reached up and brushed a loose curl away from her face. Her hand lowered and she locked little fingers with the woman beside her. He glanced over and the darker skinned woman was wearing an equally vivid red gown, her shoulders, neck, and collarbones visible as well.

He could help the small sound he made in his subvocals as he drank her in. _His Sarah_ , his wonderful, beautiful Sarah. Her eyes had some lines and she had a few new spots and he could see a few silver hairs glinting underneath the lights but she was still as beautiful and vibrant as she had been thirty years ago. His mouth was dry and he had a feeling that if he didn’t get his heartbeat under control he would expire right there.

“Thank you, Primarch Fedorian.” She sounded just the same and he stared, unable to stop. She was _right there_ and he felt like he had never left, that it was that day again. He wanted to pull her close and hold her tight like he should have thirty years before.

“You are too gracious, sir.” Beth bowed her head at him and he could hear Tiberius’ own subvocals thrum with a pained hopefulness.

Primach Fedorian greeted them, he clasped forearms with Sarah first, pressing his mandible to her cheek in a familiar greeting before repeating the gesture to Beth. “This is more than deserved, doctors.” He swept his hand out and they moved towards the podium. They stood close together, both reaching between them to tangle their smallest fingers together.

He drank in the sight of her, unable to stop. She was right there, _right there_. His Sarah, his beautiful, wonderful Sarah that he hadn’t stopped loving, not even once. He felt like there was a high pitched whine in his ears as the Primarch handed them each a medallion for their work that had bettered the Hierarchy before he gave way for the Alliance. There was a long and boring speech he barely heard as he took her in.

She was so beautiful, he hadn’t forgotten it, his memories had simply faded slightly and seeing her again brought them all back to him. Seeing her again made them all that much more vivid, the good memories and the painful ones of goodbye. He didn’t care. It was worth it, he got to see her again.

They were handed glass awards from the Alliance and given the space at the podium to speak and Sarah stepped up first. “Doctor Hawgrave and I are announcing our retirement. We feel we have done as much as we possibly can for this field of study and think it’s best if we retire somewhere warm.” There was a few smatterings of laughter that followed her words but her face was even, aloof, as she said it but it was her voice and Kaitus found himself suddenly able to hear again, not wanting to miss a single syllable she uttered.

The Alliance official who had handed her the award frowned. “What do you plan on doing?” At the question she looked down at the podium and then lifted her head. Her eyes locked onto his and Kaitus felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“We will go back to where it began for us.” The words were said calmly and evenly before she tilted her head and lifted her chin, her pale neck stretching. ‘ _Right there._ _That move right there. She will do it to gauge how interested he is in her_.’ Ms Copeland’s voice echoed in his head and he could hear a few appreciative thrums from the turians around him. He knew what the move did to him, what it signalled to everyone else and it seemed as though she was gathering more interest but she never broke eye contact with him. “My last words to my colleagues are from one of my favourite books.” She never looked away, her eyes locked on his and he felt like his gizzard was twisting inside him. “So we will meet again, where the beginning meets the end, where we will stare out across the memories and the lives lived. We will meet again, my love, with a new beginning where we will stand as one.” The words burned into him and then she looked away and he felt like gasping for air.

His Sarah.

 _His lovely, wonderful, beautiful Sarah_.

Beth stepped forward, smoothing down her dress. “As Doctor Watkins has said, we will go back to where it all began. One last journey to a cold planet before we retire fully.” Her voice was soft and sweet and Kaitus could see Tiberius leaning towards it, his subvocals thrumming with a sound he had never heard his friend make before. “So my own parting words will be those given to me by someone I cherish and love in a way that hurts.” He could see her looking at Tiberius and he wondered if she was locking eyes with him as Sarah did with himself. “And in this chaos, we will find each other again. We will hold hands and watch as the world burns down around us.” The words caused Tiberius to still and his subvocals to keen slightly and Kaitus reached over, grabbing his friend’s arm.

The Primarch stepped forward, his mandibles twitching out in a smile, if a bit confused. “Those are both very odd parting words. Could you explain? I’m wondering if something is lost in translation.”

“Life is circular, we go where it began so that we can begin again.” Beth said it softly before she looked away from Tiberius, his friend nearly sagging at the loss of eye contact. She gave the Primarch a small smile.

“Doctor Hawgraves is correct.” Sarah gave a small nod. “Except for me it is more memories and sentimentality, a want to revisit what once was in the hopes that it still feels the same.” She looked at him again, her eyes found him and his heart pounded in his chest as he felt like she was speaking to him and only him. “A hope that this new beginning can carry across time itself as we move forward, together.” He felt like he couldn’t breathe, that she was pulling words from his very soul. She was speaking to him, he _knew_ she was.

“Both very apt explanations.” The Primarch once again pressed his mandible to their cheeks before bowing his head at them. “We will be sorry to see you go but I and the Hierarchy with you the best with you new lives and extend you an invitation to Palaven, if you ever are looking for somewhere warm to visit, or are looking to start another rewarding career.” They smiled at him before returning his low head bow and silently leaving the stage.

Kaitus went to stand up when Oraka grabbed his wrist in a tight grip. He nearly snarled at his old commander but the turian merely blinked. "The Hierarchy owes those two so much more than it thinks. So many secrets they have kept and will keep and so will I.” His words had a world of unsaid knowledge in them before his mandible flicked out into a smirk. “I never took you two for trailblazers. I never did and yet you were all the same and we didn’t even know it.” He let his wrist go and Kaitus stood up, followed closely by Tiberius. “Docking bay D14, the _Titus_. It will take you where you need to go. Don’t try to find them, the Citadel is big and you have an hour before the _Titus_ leaves.” The general bowed his head, and Kaitus returned it quickly before making his way out of the room, his heart pounding in his chest.

He could barely think, could barely breathe as he made his way back to their apartment. He couldn't focus as he shoved his pack full of everything he knew he might need. He would see her again. He was going to once again pull her into his arms. He didn’t even now what to think about it. It was everything he had ever wanted, everything he had hoped for but hadn’t dared wished. They had their time, those short months, to wish for more just hurt but it was there, within his reach. He got into his armour, the old armour that he had worn once before, when he had met her and then when he had left her.

He didn’t even poke at Tiberius when his friend tossed him an extra pack of rations, his eyes knowing and his expression showing his own hope. They both shook as they silently made their way to the docking bay. They flashed their IDs at the scanner and it flashed green, allowing them to pass. It wasn’t a big ship, not even a cruiser. It was small and was filled with civilians, mainly humans and he and Tiberius sat down near the back, sitting side by side.

They were quiet the entire ride, each sleeping in shifts on the long ride. He didn’t know how Oraka knew, how he figured it out but he was glad he had urged them to come out to the ceremony. His Sarah. He was going to see her again, _hold_ her again.

“I wrote that for her, Beth. What she said up there, I wrote it for her.” Tiberius’ voice was low and Kaitus nodded, his thoughts on the book he had packed with his things. He wanted to bring it back to her, let her scent once again entrench itself into the pages. “I never thought I would see her again.” His voice shook and Kaitus looked at his friend. For so long they had both been broken in different ways. He had kept everything where no one could see it, grieving on his own, but Tiberius let it be shown, let the whole world know he was grieving, mourning. “She looked right at me, my Beth looked _right at me_.” His voice thrummed and he closed his eyes.

Kaitus reached over and nudged his mandible with his knuckles. “And now we are heading back.” Back to where it had started and had ended. He wondered if it had ended for Sarah or if she had carried him with her as well. He had never ended it with her, she had always been with him. Each second of each minute he had carried her with him.

“How did the world change so much without us noticing?” Tiberius sounded troubled and Kaitus shook his head.

“Did we not notice? Or did it take it being pointed out for us to see what was there? They weren’t exactly overt about it.” Everything was subtle, a small dance of gestures that meant nothing unless you understood the language being spoken, unless you understood what was being said by those small gestures. If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t expect anything about those tiny gestures, you would be unknowing of the conversation that was occuring right before you.

A thick silence fell and Kaitus clasped his hands together. “I won’t let her go again. Not even if she asks it of me. I can’t.” Tiberius hung his head and Kaitus couldn’t agree more with the sentiment. He couldn’t let Sarah go again. He had done it once, he knew he wouldn’t have the strength to do it twice. There was only so much he could do and he couldn’t do that, not again.

“We are coming up to dock with Base Hawking. Please remain seated.” The VI’s voice was even and calm and Kaitus felt nervous, for the first time in a very long time he was nervous. Sarah was _so_ close to him. She was waiting for him down there on that frozen little planet where they had first met. He didn’t know if his gizzard was turning inside out or he was excited. Perhaps both.

She was _waiting_ for him down there.

 _So we will meet again, where the beginning me_ _e_ _ts the end, where we will stare out across the memories and the lives lived. We will meet again, my love, with a new beginning where we will stand as one_.

The words from the book seared him. He had read them a thousand times and she had looked at him and said them once more. The story didn’t have a happy ending, the characters didn’t get the chance he now had. He wanted to make it worth it. A second chance where they would stand where it had began and then had ended. They would stand there and start again, as one.

His heart thumped in his chest as they slowly docked to the orbiting station and the VI announced their arrival. He gathered his packs, putting on his helmet as he did so. His hands nearly shook as he and Tiberius headed to the air lock. They didn’t look around, ignoring the humans who stared at them. It wasn’t normal to see turian in the sol system, the subtle showings of interest aside, it wasn’t something that was really done. They ignored the looks though and headed out the air lock and onto Base Hawking, the orbital science station.

They were greeted by a woman with her hair pulled back in a tight bun and a lab coat that buttoned up to her neck. “Ahhh, right on time.” She barely looked up from her data pad as she gestured to the two of them. “If you will follow me.” Kaitus turned his head, looking at his friend through the helmet and Tiberius shrugged, following after the small human woman. Kaitus followed after them both. “The doctors said that you might be joining them for their last trip down to the surface. Don’t know why, you turians don’t like the cold, nothing like a reunion on an ice ball.” She moved fast for a human and Kaitus wondered how she could see with her eyes trained on the data pad in her hands.

“Speaking of which. Those suits are not rated for the environmental hazards you will find down there. You are going to have to switch them out if you want to reach the surface, we won’t allow you down there otherwise.” She gestured to them both without looking before she stopped and opened a door. “The doctors have provided you with your own suits. Please feel free to suit up in here. I will be waiting outside.” They both entered the space and Kaitus was a little confused but he spotted a set of dark blue armour sitting in a cubby. He pulled off his helmet and looked at Tiberius as his friend stop there, his armour was grey and he reached out and touched it almost hesitantly.

Kaitus set his packs down and carefully took his old armour off before putting the new one on. It fit perfectly and he wondered how Sarah had known but Oraka’s smirking face came to him. That made sense at least. He wondered how long his old commander had held the secret, helped prepare for this. He looked at Tiberius as held his helmet in his hands. His friend let out a thrum, “I’ve wanted this for so long. It doesn’t feel real.” He let out a heavy breath before he jammed his helmet on and Kaitus followed suit.

He picked up his packs and the doors opened. The small human female gestured to them. “Come on. Time is of the essence here. We've already wasted ten hours. We have just two left before the storm moves in over the outposts.” She started walking again, marching more like it, and Kaitus hurried to follow her. It didn’t take long, his long strides catching up to her easily. “Have you brought provisions?” She didn’t look at them as she asked it and Kaitus thought she was a little odd.

“Yes.” He and Tiberius spoke at the same time and she nodded, flicking at her datapad

“Good. Although the doctors would have provided some for you if you hadn’t.” She led them to another door before she stopped. “This is the door to the airlock for the shuttle. You will be down there for three months and then Base Hawking will send a shuttle to pick you all up. The shuttle is already programmed for its route. It will take you to Outpost Gamma first and then Outpost Bravo before it will return to the station.” She tapped on her datapad and Kaitus couldn’t help but tilt his head as he looked at her.

“You seem pretty okay with this.” It didn’t really make a lot of sense to him that she was fine acting as a go-between for a liaison between two prominent members of the scientific community and some turians.

“The company the doctors want to keep is not my business, nor is it anyone else’s.” She finally looked up from the datapad to look at them both. She gave them a quick smile. “Besides it would be very hypocritical of me to object to it and I believe my fiance, Octavius, would take offence.” She lifted her chin and tilted her neck, a scarred over half moon bite mark on her neck just peeking out above her collar for a moment. Kaitus stared at it until she reached up and tugged her collar up to cover it with another smile. Things _were_ changing. “Have fun and good luck.” She turned back to her datapad and moved away from them.

“The world is changing, Kaitus.” Tiberius said it softly and Kaitus nodded, not able to do anything else but that. The world was indeed changing, at least between the two species. The woman had been young, perhaps time could heal that wound, perhaps it _was_ healing it. Tiberius didn’t wait for him as he opened the air lock and headed inside. Kaitus followed him. The door to the shuttle opened and they both stepped inside. They secured their packs, their actions reminiscent of the time they had done it before they crashed that fateful day.

They settled into their seats and the shuttle’s VI disengaged them from the air lock and they were on their descent to the surface. Kaitus’ nerves felt frayed, his insides twisting. He wondered if he would be sick. He didn’t know what to say, what to do. He had wanted to go back to that time, those months with her. He was getting just that. Another chance to spend that time with her. He wondered if they had both changed, if they wouldn’t fit together anymore like they had. He wondered if time would have changed them both too much.

He didn’t know what to expect. He knew what he wanted but wanting something was never enough to get it. Want didn’t equal have. His leg jogged up and down as the shuttle descended, the ground coming up fast. He could see an outpost and within a space of thirty seconds the shuttle stopped in front of it.

“Arrival at Outpost Gamma. Enjoy your stay.” Tiberius said nothing, just grabbed Kaitus’ shoulder on his way by. He couldn’t feel it, but he understood it all the same. His old friend was saying good luck. The shuttle door opened and Tiberius was off and they were flying across the ice. He did his best to breathe evenly and he swallowed hard. Nerves made his gizzard twist and his insides churn. He didn’t know what was waiting for him inside the little outpost he was flying too. He didn’t know what he was walking into and it killed him.

He wanted his Sarah, he wanted her more than he wanted anything in his life. Thirty years had not diminished that, it had only grown roots into his bones and held him tighter. Things had changed, times had changed They had a chance of something outside of that outpost and he wanted to her feel the same way. He wanted her to feel what he felt. He wanted her to keep his marks on her skin, he wanted her to show them off to let the world know she was his and he wanted to have her hand on his arm as he showed the world that he was hers. That through some fluke of fake, the wondrous being that she was, had chosen him to be with.

The shuttle came to a stop and Kaitus swallowed hard, barely hearing the VI as he got out of his seat and gathered his packs. He jumped out of the shuttle, staring at the little outpost where he had left his heart all those years ago. His throat felt tight as he walked up to the door. It was like nothing had changed. It was still freezing, still icy, and the little outpost was still holding on despite all odds. Nerves twisted inside of him and he slowly moved to the door. He opened it and stepped into the decontamination chamber. He waited for the process to finish and then, with his heart in his throat and a breath no where in sight, he opened the door to the main room.

It looked the same, just exactly the same as it had been thirty years ago. It brought a sharp pain up again and he pulled off his helmet. His gaze finally landed on the woman he was here to see, who he hoped and prayed was there for him too. His heart beat hard in his chest as she slowly stood up from the little blanket nest she had made on the floor. They stared at each other, Kaitus drank her in, wanted to memorize her features once more.

“Kaitus.” It was a breathless whisper and he dropped his helmet and stumbled towards her. She met him half way, her arms wrapped around his neck, her lips pressed against him. She kissed him with a longing and a passion that was reflected within him. He held her tight to his chest, lifting her off her feet. She was here, she was kissing him like she was missing him just as much as he was missing her.

He set her down on her feet and her fingers moved quickly, helping him remove his armour. He was down to his undersuit and he grabbed her, pulling her tight against him as she kissed him again and again and again until he felt drunk with his desire for her. They stumbled backwards, falling into the blanket nest she had made for them. His subvocals keened at her. “I have missed you.” He whispered it against her skin and she shivered against him. Words could not express how much he had missed her.

“And I you.” She cupped his face in her hands, the gesture so familiar and so achingly her his chest ached with longing and love. “I missed you _so_ much, Kaitus.” Her eyes filled with tears and he kissed her again, he kissed her because he had to, because he couldn’t do anything but. She sobbed against him, kissing him back through her tears.

They stripped out of their clothes, their movements frantic and rushed. He nearly keened at the feel of her soft skin underneath his palms and she gasped into his mouth as he ran his hands over her. He went up onto one arm, looking down at her, taking her in. She was the same but in some ways different, not a lot but enough to show him she had lived a life.

“I got old, Kaitus. I hope you don’t mind.” There was an edge of self-consciousness to her that he hated to hear. His own plates were getting dull, their edges rounding out with his age. They had both grown older but age could never diminish what he saw in her.

He bent down and licked up her neck, her taste was the same, still that unique flavour that was hers and hers alone. “You are just as beautiful as the last time I saw you.” He purred it to her, letting his subvocals sing out the love he had for her inside of him. “Just as wonderful.” He licked his way down her body, listening to her gasp and cling to him. “Just as magnificent.” He wanted to worship her, wanted to pray at her altar and call her divinity reborn.

He spread her thighs and looked up her body and there was that expression, the one he loved to see. Her mouth open, her eyes closed, and her breathing coming out in gasps. He licked at her, reacquainting himself with her slickness and her taste. He had gone so long without that he couldn’t pull himself away. He held her thighs tight and leisurely explored her with his tongue. She moaned and writhed in his grip and he watched as she arched her back, gripping the blankets in her hands tightly. It was like he had never left as he watched her.

“Come for me, my Sarah, my love.” He delved deeper into her, his tongue seeking out that ribbed patch of inner flesh that always made her come undone. and he rubbed against it hard, undulating his tongue. He watched as she came, her body tensing and a long drawn out moan escaping her as her knuckles turned white as her grip tightened. Her legs shook on his shoulders and he gave her one more long lick before he let her legs fall open on the blankets.

He looked down at her, taking in the blush along the tops of her cheeks he so loved to see. She was panting and her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him. That soft smile that let him know he had made it to his port in the storm, that let him know he was _home_ . She sat up, reaching up to cup his mandibles in her hands. His mandibles twitched against her palm and he leaned into the touch, needing it more than he needed air. He met her gaze and she gave him that smile, that soft and _wonderful_ smile.

“I love you, I’ve always loved you. I never stopped, not _once_.” The words were a soothing balm to the rawness of his chest, of his soul. The words swept away the pain of the last thirty years.

He was _home_.

“Try telling me that when I haven’t just made you come in less than five minutes with my tongue.” He bent down and licked at her nose, thrumming with enjoyment and amusement as she laughed, shoving at his carapace as she muttered that he was a jerk. He wrapped his arms around her and sat back, pulling her onto his lap. “I love you so much it hurt because you weren’t there to give it to.” That aching pain deep inside of him where his love for her had no where to go. It ached and throbbed and hurt without her.

“I’m here now.” She leaned closer, rubbing her nose against his flat one before she settled onto his lap. “I will be here today and tomorrow and every other day after.” There was a promise to her voice that made his soul sing and he understood why Tiberius was driven to write poetry for his Beth. He felt the urge to sing to her, to sing her the song of his love and his want.

“Every step of the way.” He rumbled against her, nuzzling her neck, nipping at it with his mouth plates before letting his tongue flick out to taste her salt and arousal of her skin.

“And when this is over, when the storm is done. We will leave here, Kaitus, and we do so together.” She cupped his face in her hands and he let her pull him from her neck. Her brown eyes were wide open and her love shone through and she looked at him like he was the center of her universe.

“You don’t have anyone else?” He murmured it out. He had hoped for that for her, he had hoped she would live a life worth living even if it was with someone else.

She shook her head. “There was only ever you.” She kissed him again, pouring all her love and hope into it and he could taste every bit of it, kissing her the same.

She pulled back and he rubbed at her back, feeling the softness and once again marvelling at the pull of her skin over her ribs. “Then we will leave here, hand in hand, and we will get bonded. We will buy a place on the Citadel and we will live together, never apart.” He leaned towards her and she pressed her forehead to his own, her smile so bright and wide that it hurt him to look at it. It made the love for her grow that much more.

“Never again.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him. It was a slow and languid kiss that had his already loose plates shifting even more. He liked the kiss, liked that she was telling him they had all the time in the world. He adjusted her on his lap, making sure she was positioned just right and then groaned as he relaxed. His cock slid out from his sheath, straight into her heat. “So big.” She murmured it against his mandible as she blinked lazily, rolling her hips, stretching herself around him so he could sink in deeper. He held her hips, letting her ride him until he was in her up to his plates. “I forgot about how big you are.” She gasped slightly, pressing her hand to her stomach before she gave a shaky sort of laugh. “Give me a second?”

He grasped her chin and licked at her lips, pulling her into a kiss. When he pulled back she looked dazed and her mouth had dropped open slightly. “Take as long as you need, my love.” They had all the time in the world. There didn’t need to be frantic and rushed movements, not this time. He wanted to savour this, wanted to ingrain every movement, every sound, every scent, and every taste to his memory.

“I like the sound of that.” She grinned at him, her pupils blown wide with desire as she slowly rocked in his lap. She swallowed hard. “ _Holy shit_.” She breathed the words out before she gripped his cowl in her hands and she rocked against him slowly but surely. It was slow and gentle and her flush moved from her cheeks to her chest. Kaitus leaned forward and licked at one of her nipples, causing her to let out a curse as she shuddered underneath his hands.

He chuckled at that, liking that he still knew how to touch her. He added a bit more motion to her rocking with his hands and she blinked rapidly at him, her mouth dropping open. “If you keep doing that I’m gunna-” She gasped it out and he did it again and she stiffened. “Kaitus!” It was a sharp cry and he grunted as he thrust up into her tight heat as she came on him. It was beautiful to watch and he rode through it, unable to fully close his eyes so he could watch her.

Her mouth was open and she tilted her head back as she ground down on him further, riding the pleasure of her orgasm through to the end. She grasped one of her breasts with her hand, the other one holding onto his cowl with white knuckles. Her inner muscles squeezed him in rhythmic pulses and he thrust up into her again, letting himself go. They had all the time in the world. The pleasure broke around him and he came deep within her, grunting out her name as he did so.

She slumped onto him, her head resting in his cowl, her hot breath moving against his neck. He slid a hand up her back and he held her “I love you. More than words can say.” He nuzzled her ear, holding her tight to his chest, stroking her hair. The silver stands glimmered in the firelight and he thought it added to that glow he loved about her so much.

“Tell me that again when you haven’t just buried yourself in me up to your plates and come.” She said it breathlessly and he laughed, nuzzling her face and drawing her into a kiss. He got to his feet, feeling younger than he had in years. She squealed slightly, clinging to him, her legs wrapping around his waist.

“I distinctly remember you loved the shower.” His cock had yet to recede and the way her slick inner muscles pulsed around it, he knew she remembered exactly how much she loved the shower.

She pulled away from him slightly as he carried her through the small outpost, a smile growing on her face, deepening the lines that were there. “I think you might need to remind me.” Her eyes danced with mischief and Kaitus laughed, a deep thrum escaping him as he sung to her the only way he could.

“I can do that.” And he planned to. He planned to remind her of everything she might had forgotten and he planned to remind himself of them as well. He looked at her, leaning forward to lick at her lips and draw her into another kiss.

It was beautiful, she was beautiful but this time it wouldn’t hurt because this time, this time they got to stay. This time there was something waiting for them out there.

Because this time they had met again where their beginning met the end and they were staring out across the memories of their lives lived. They had met again, and they were creating a new beginning, where they stood together, as one.


End file.
